Don't Eat That Cookie!

Free Infant Massage Class!

2011-08-03T00:50:00.000-05:00

Next weekend, August 12-14th, I'm taking a Certified Infant Massage Teacher course. I'm super excited to learn this skill! During the conference families with infants ages 3 weeks - Walking, have the opportunity to learn infant massage for free! If you're interested, or know someone who might be, please share the following information:

MN Infant Massage Flyer[1]

Transition Time

2011-04-15T07:40:00.000-05:00

Last December I vented in 7 Quick Takes (Vol 2) about the trouble I was having completing a project to graduate. I am pleased to announce that as of March 10th, I am officially a BSN graduate of Bethel University!!!

Last December I couldn't imagine going back to school again. I was entirely ready for a nice, long break from the mentally, and emotionally draining task of studying, writing, and deadlines. Now, just a month and a half after completion of my college work, I find myself antsy for another challenge. Working the overnight shift on the psych ward provides neither the mental stimulation, nor personal satisfaction experienced on medical units. It's frustrating when the patients you seek to help view you more as warden than caregiver. While I'm not ready for further formal education I am looking for a new project, something to focus this excess energy on.

I've had a passion for maternity care since nursing school. Unfortunately it is incredibly difficult to break into labor and delivery (L & D) nursing. Pretty much every opening requires you to have L & D experience, but you need to have an L & D job in order to get experience! So what's a girl to do?

My employer recently had 3 openings in the family birth center (without the L & D requirement). Finally, a foot in the door! Unfortunately, union run as we are, seniority trumps passion and I found myself 4th in line. No new position at work for this nurse.

Thankfully my wonderful employer also offers workshop money every year. As long as the workshop is related to ANY other job within the company, we can get approval. So I attended a DONA doula birth workshop at the end of March! Boy did that get my juices flowing and reignite my passion for working with pregnant women and their newborns.

So now I'm fully focused on obtaining DONA doula certification. It's a bit of a challenge given my nearly full-time RN job, 7 month old baby, and husband at school. I've already begun delving into the necessary education (wonderful birth books we need to read). The reading is the easy part. The bigger challenge is finding doula clients with due dates between mid-May and mid-August (Josh's summer school break).

I set up another website for this doula project HonorYourBirth.com. If you know anybody who might be interested in having a doula attend their birth, please pass this website on to them. Or if you feel like taking a peek at the site yourself, please let me know if there's anything in particular you think I should add or change. The site is certainly a work in progress and will need tweaking and sprucing up.

I've also begun looking for other volunteer opportunities to become more involved in the birth community. I recently contacted Pregnancy and Postpartum Support Minnesota to become a volunteer with their Warm Line phone support for pregnant and postpartum women. Could there possibly be a better match for my mental health RN experience and maternity care passions?

I'm looking forward to seeing what the next few months have in store for me. I'm ready for a bit of a change around here. As always, I'd appreciate any and all prayers that I manage to balance home life with work and these new endeavors!

7 Quick Takes (Vol 9)

2011-04-01T08:00:00.000-05:00

Here we go again with another week's worth of 7 Quick Takes, a blog carnival hosted by Jen of Conversion Diary.
- 1 -
I'm about to start referring to my blog as, "All quick takes, all the time." Thankfully a quick scan back reveals that I am managing one real post for about every 3 quick takes. So, I shall proceed today, guilt free.

- 2 -
Jacek went swimming for the first time when we visited Papa and Gami in Florida a couple of weeks ago. Gami was kind enough to capture the event with my camera. I love the following sequence of photos.
Pre-dunking

Dunking

Initial reaction

And two seconds later!

The tears didn't last long before he was ready to play with Daddy again.

- 3 -
Thank goodness for this blog, because I haven't written a thing in J's baby book yet. Latest developments: He began using a pincer grasp last week (he's ahead of the game on that one); Mastered the art of rolling over from back to front AND front to back (surprisingly he learned the former first); Two days ago pulled himself up to standing from sitting on my calf and grabbing the bar of his play gym; Also, his eyes are still surprisingly blue.

- 4 -
Weight Watchers is going pretty well for me. I lost 6.6 pounds in the first 4 weeks. I'm pretty pleased with those results. I finally have my very own scale now too so I'll be able to be more consistent with tracking changes.

- 5 -
I think I should quit the gym. I've wasted a ridiculous amount of money on a gym membership that I haven't been using. I keep thinking that I'll make time to get in, but I hate being away from Jace any more than I already am. Plus, the best time to go is first thing in the morning after work. Unfortunately that means that Josh would have to give up the few uninterrupted hours of sleep he has when I get home and take over with our little one. I've thought that maybe I'd start using the pool at the gym with Jacek, but family hours are only in the evening, and then I end up giving up sleep I need before working the overnight shift. So right now I am far more likely to get exercise going for walks while wearing Jacek (at 40 degrees it's almost warm enough to go without a coat :P). Pool season is also not so far off, and our local community pool is within walking distance and open all day.

- 6 -
I'm thinking about becoming a doula. I've joined DONA. I also had the most amazing weekend, with wonderful women, attending a DONA Birth Doula workshop and breastfeeding class. I'm not sure that I can manage doula work without putting additional strain on my family (Josh really steps up already being an amazing daddy, husband, and student). I really feel a calling to work with women and so far I've been unable to use my RN license to move into labor and delivery nursing. I'll be praying about this a lot going forward. I think right now the best option is to see if I can manage to attend the necessary certification births during Josh's summer break from school. Thankfully I don't need to make any decisions right this second. I welcome any additional prayers for guidance, and opening of doors for me.

- 7 -
It's so easy to keep smiling around here with such a happy baby oozing smiles all over the place!

7 Quick Takes (Vol 8)

2011-03-05T07:53:00.001-06:00

- 1 -
This past week Jacek has decided that his lower lip is the TASTIEST thing ever! More often than not it has vanished from site as he suck, suck, sucks on it. This is an interesting change from the non-stop finger biting of the past month or so. He still enjoys his fingers on occasion, but mmmmmmm that lower lip is divine!

- 2 -
We've also added a new challenge to diaper changes. As Jacek has also discovered that his toes fit in his mouth. His favorite time to display this incredible act of flexibility is the moment his butt is bare, and he is not too quick to allow a new diaper on as it involves straightening his legs out in order to fasten the darn things.

- 3 -
Work is running a "Be Fit" promotion in an effort to curb rising insurance costs. Employees earn money by way of gift cards for performing certain healthy tasks like taking a wellness assessment, having a physical, having our teeth cleaned. This year they included a $200 gift card (which I will be using for Amazon) if we went to Life Time Fitness gym for a "My Health Check" assessment. The results were SO not good for me! On the plus side, my cholesterol and blood sugar are great. On the negative: I've lost zero pounds since my 6 week postpartum check, my body composition is 51% body fat (***GASP***), I have poor flexibility, and my body's ability to use oxygen while exercising is virtually non-existent. What a wake-up call!

- 4 -
And in light of that wake-up call I've joined Weight Watchers Online. Woot! Yet another diet to try. It did take quite a bit of site navigation to get the hang of things, but I think I've got the basics down. I can see that with the prompts for water, dairy, and fruit/vegetable consumption the health level of the foods I eat will dramatically improve if nothing else. This whole endeavor is bound to end up as a blog post of its own.

- 5 -
I think I do a pretty good job of staying positive about the ridiculously long, cold, snowy, gray, traffic-clogged, stuck-in-the-house, cabin fever-inducing, nastiness that is the Minnesota winter. Then March hits and I am DONE! We're expecting ANOTHER "snow event" on Monday. It will likely be very beautiful, and I am happy we have been having warmer weather (it's been over 32F, can you believe it!?!), but I am so extremely ready for spring to begin. It's time. The chickadees have started singing, "Spring's coming." I hope they're right!

- 6 -
Since we finally have "warm" weather again I took Jace out shopping yesterday. I love watching him check out all the new sights from his perch on my hip (thank you Maya Wrap). I love my wraps and slings. It's so nice to be able to abandon the grocery cart without worrying about someone snatching my baby. Plus I get a little extra workout walking with the extra weight.

- 7 -
Here's our smiley man enjoying his perch on Daddy's knees.

Have a blessed week readers!

The above has been a part of "7 Quick Takes", a blog carnival hosted by Jen of Conversion Diary.

Bumbo Love

2011-02-24T05:44:00.002-06:00

We scored a cheap Bumbo at Kid's Rack this past week. Jacek LOVES it!

It's like all of his toys are brand new from this perspective.

I have no idea how he does that with his tongue!

I'm not nomming my toys...

MMMmmmm toys!

I'm so in love with this child! How can you not smile looking at that adoreable little face?

7 Quick Takes (Vol 7)

2011-01-28T08:08:00.001-06:00

Here we go again with another week's worth of 7 Quick Takes, a blog carnival hosted by Jen of Conversion Diary.
- 1 - Gryffyn, our mope-y mutt extraordinare, is still not entirely thrilled about Jacek's arrival.
Thankfully he no longer runs from the room to paw frantically at the back or bedroom doors when Jacek cries. Now he just quietly skulks away to another room. Poor puppy.

- 2 - I applied for tuition reimbursement from my employer for a doula workshop this week. I still really want to get into labor and delivery nursing, but breaking in is very hard to do without experience. It's one of those bizarre situations where you need experience to get the job, but you need the job to get experience. I'm hoping to pad my resume, show that I'm really motivated to do this, and make a case for cross-training in the future. I may even become a DONA certified doula along the way!

- 3 - Jace is sleeping through the night! Unfortunately his night starts at 6pm. So around 2 or 3am he is pretty much ready to be up for the day. Any suggestions to get him to stay awake later so he'll sleep later too?

- 4 - My school project is finally moving forward. I mentioned in Vol 2 that there were some hang-ups for my graduation. I am pleased to announce that things are going well and I think I'll be done by the end of February. Then I can go tack "BSN" (Bachelor of Science in Nursing) onto my name badge!

- 5 - Jace is really getting the hang of his hands. I love watching him grow, change and learn. When we first put him down on the play mat he mostly stared at the toys. Then he learned to flail his arms in their general direction to get them to move. Now he's reaching out and grasping, as well as wiggling like crazy. I don't think it will be much longer before he's rolling over from back to front!

- 6 - Speaking of the play mat, I love that he is enjoying a little independent play each day. He still wants lots of snuggle time, but for a little while in the morning, and after naps, when he's wide awake, he's pretty content to coo and play on his own. Which means I finally have the opportunity to *gasp* do dishes, or clean, or fix food! It's amazing!

- 7 -
Baby in a box! Ready for shipping. Supplies are limited, 9 months required for production! =D

7 Quick Takes (Vol 6)

2011-01-21T08:45:00.002-06:00

Here we go again with another week's worth of 7 Quick Takes, a blog carnival hosted by Jen of Conversion Diary.

- 1 -
Well, I did end up posting that vaccine blog,which I mentioned last week. No comments yet on the blog website, but it has facilitated some interesting discussion where it cross-posted to facebook. A former co-worker did comment that the current vaccines utilize more refined proteins, which I had never heard of. I'll be looking into that a bit more.

- 2 -
I appreciate differing viewpoints. I certainly don't write to this oh-so-public forum expecting other people to always agree with me. I also have a lot of respect for individuals who can present an opposing viewpoint both intelligently and without resorting to name-calling. I know not everyone is capable of that. I still hold individuals in higher regard if they have enough conviction in their beliefs to address me directly, and not by posting status updates like the following to their own facebook pages instead:

- 3 -
I probably should have taken the high road and not posted my own facebook update after reading the above note.

Passive aggressive behavior drives me batty. Then again, I tend to utilize the preferred mode of communication chosen by others, so let the PA wars begin! Muahahaha!!! Seriously, I find the whole situation comical.

- 4 -
Speaking of comments, conflict and conviction: I find anonymous dissention disgusting. I heard Dr. Laura on the radio criticizing the school's use of anonymous feedback forms at the end of coursework. I believe she mentioned how it allowed ugly venting beyond reasonable criticism which students wouldn't post if they were accountable for their words (this was many years ago so forgive me if I butchered the paraphrasing). Pastor Eric Dykstra also commented in one of his services that his crew checks comment cards before they reach him. If the commenter hasn't provided a name they are thrown away without consideration. I have a rather similar viewpoint. I think that if you have enough conviction in your beliefs, comments, and/or criticisms to present them, then you should have the courage/conviction/accountability to provide your name with those words. Anonymous comments end up in moderation here at "Don't Eat That Cookie!" If it's positive feedback from someone who just didn't want to fill out a form, no problem, I'll post them. If they're anonymous and snarky, without so much as a pseudonym, into the trash it goes.

- 5 -
Enough of the heavy stuff. My totally awesome sister, Mindi, provided the following T-Shirt wisdom via a facebook status update, "After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W-T-F." One-liners keep my giggling long after I've heard/read them. Like a friend at pub night who said, "I don't have a man cave. I have a geek grotto!" Or my hubby telling our baby, "Ewww your breath smells like sneaker cheese!"
I love having funny people in my life!

- 6 -
This is my sixth week taking part in 7 Quick Takes. It amazes me how much faster the weeks seems to disappear now. I couldn't believe it when I got to work last night and realized I'd need to finish a post up again already! I'm also quite proud of myself for not skipping a week yet.

- 7 -
And of course, our weekly photo. If you could peek out of my computer screen, this is what you’d see right now.

Jace is quietly snoozing away in his Sleepy Wrap.

Vaccines Blargghhh

2011-01-19T08:00:00.003-06:00

Before I get started, this is not meant to replace your doctor's medical advice yada yada...

Along with a newborn comes the push for multiple vaccinations. I've been all over the internet researching. I've talked with my amazing chiropractor (who hasn't vaccinated her kids ever for anything). I've chatted with our pediatrician. Ultimately, we just aren't on board with the American Academy of Pediatrics' (AAP) recommendations.

For starters, I don't trust that they are safe. I understand that the study about the autism-vaccine link has major holes in it, but there are other concerns. I doubt that at any time in the history of vaccines doctors told their families anything other than, "this vaccine is totally safe." And yet, we have clear evidence of vaccines being recalled due to their being wholly unsafe. One version of the Rotavirus vaccine was recalled in 1998 because it caused intussusception, a horrific bowel disorder. Another rota vaccine was recalled in March of 2010 when they discovered that it was contaminated with a pig virus. Going further back in history, 1976 and 1955, we find that in '76 vaccination efforts to combat the swine flu caused some to develop Guillain-Barré syndrome. In '55 the polio vaccine, which should have had inactivated or killed viral elements contained a live virus and actually GAVE recipients polio!

Drug companies in general are not high on my list of trustworthy companies. More than one drug has been pulled from the market after FDA approval; remember Vioxx?

Furthermore, I'm not happy with the research available about the safety of these vaccines. To gain approval they are studied and approved on an individual basis. There is very insufficient evidence regarding the safety of receiving multiple vaccinations all at once, as children do following the AAP vaccination schedule. For a long time vaccines contained mercury as a preservative because the FDA approved this neurotoxin, with single vaccine research and approval, with the caveat that the small dose in a single vaccine wasn't problematic. Eventually they came around and realized that with the mega vaccine doses our children were receiving much higher quantities of mercury. I'm sure doctors told those parents that the multi-dose mercury bolus was "safe" too.

I remember when the controversial HPV vaccine was approved. The vaccine was studied in adult women to get approval. Then, once it passed, they began recommending vaccination for teenage girls. I have issues with the way that happened. Adult women are not physically the same as hormonally-fluctuating adolescents. Who's to say that teenage girls would react the same as the adults? We're far enough in to its usage that they now have studies regarding the safety for teenagers, but releasing it first, then studying it second seems like the wrong way to go.

Thankfully, our pediatrician isn't pushing us too hard. Though of course she did utilize a bit of the fear mongering present in the "YOU MUST VACCINATE" crowd. I must say I am rather disappointed in her analysis of vaccine studies as well. In an attempt to reassure me she sent me a copy (after I requested to see it myself) of this article, and told me roughly, "Actually, there was a recent study of thousands of kids comparing those on the AAP vaccine schedule, those delaying, and those who didn't vaccinate. They found that those who followed the schedule scored better on intelligence tests." Well if that's not a glowing recommendation to not worry about the possible negative neurological outcomes, I don't know what is! After reading the study I found HUGE flaws. For starters, there's possible research bias; yup, this too was funded by the drug companies who make vaccines. Second, the non-vaccination group had a sample size of nine. NINE! That isn't significant to even count. Third, those who "delayed" vaccinations were simply those who had at least one vaccination outside of a 30 day window for the recommended time to vaccinate. There was ZERO consistency among the way the "delayed" vaccinated children received their shots. Further analysis also showed that those who fell into the "delayed" group had significant socioeconomic factors which could clearly count for the lesser success in the intelligence tests. Lastly, I'm disgusted that the study included absolutely no mention regarding negative outcomes. Clearly they designed the study to help alleviate parent's fear about autism and other neurological disorders. Why then did they not address the prevalence of autism and/or ADD etc? Might it have something to do with the huge flaw in the study's sample groups?

Adding HepB to the infant immunization schedule further increases my distrust for the CDC and AAP recommendations. Do you know who is at risk for getting HepB? Prostitutes and IV drug addicts. Do you know who is least like to go out and get immunizations? Prostitutes and IV drug addicts. They've added HepB to the immunization schedule for the sake of herd immunity. In other words, in order to protect future drug addicts and prostitutes, I should expose my infant to yet another virus and whatever other toxins are in the vaccination. Excuse me? I don't think so! The only infants at real risk for getting HepB are those born to HepB positive mothers. My midwives screened me for HepB while I was pregnant. I'm negative, my baby does not need HepB vaccinations. He sure as heck didn't need to receive the first dose before we even left the hospital! What are they thinking mandating this for infants? I have googled and googled and googled looking for some justification for infants to receive this vaccine and I've come up empty-handed. The only other people really at risk for HepB are healthcare workers (like me), correctional officers, those with multiple sex partners, and a few choice other professions where exposure to blood is more likely. I didn't have a problem with taking the HepB series for myself, as an adult, with a job that puts me at risk. That makes sense. Immunizing my non-IV drug using, non-sex having infant; that does not make sense.

If the CDC and AAP want more parents to follow the vaccination schedule they need to give us a little more information as well. I have a few questions and still haven't found adequate information. I understand that infants who become sick from these illnesses are more susceptible and suffer worse than older children. So it makes sense for infants to receive the vaccinations. I don't understand where they came up with the schedule for every two months. Is the first dose useless? Does immunity wear off after two months? Are they not fully immunized until they've received all 3-4 doses, putting them at 6-8 months old before they are even covered anyways?

I think it's crazy that I received only TWO vaccines at each 2, 4, and 6 month check when I was an infant, and the doctors expect me to be OK with giving my child SIX plus shots at each check-up! That variance alone is enough to cause me pause. Take a peek at some of the differences in vaccine schedules. That last link may have a questionable source, but I've seen similar about the web (it's just getting late and I'm not up to further browsing right now). Roughly speaking infants from birth to age 6 in 1983 received 10 vaccines total. Birth to age 6 in 2007 received 36 vaccines total if you follow current recommendations.

So with all this information you may think we'd choose not to vaccinate. I was tempted when I first began my research to wait until Jace turned two years old to start any vaccinations. After further consideration we're opting to vaccinate him with the DTaP and HiB. I've worked in pediatrics a bit. Managing respiratory illnesses is challenging. DTaP has been around FOREVER, and I think the risk of Pertussis, or whooping cough, outweighs the risk of vaccine side effects. I am aware that Josh and I could easily carry pertussis germs and not be sick, or only feel like we have a cold. Also, a co-worker pointed out that once Jace starts toddling he will likely have accidents, with cuts and scrapes, and potential exposure for tetanus. We're also vaccinating for HiB, because I couldn't live with myself if we didn't vaccinate and he ended up with bacterial meningitis as a result of this infection.

Vaccines we're skipping: We are not doing the polio or HepB vaccinations because I think the risk of exposure is virtually zip. We're skipping the Rotovirus vaccine because I don't trust the drug company given its history. Also, while I think the chance Jace will catch this virus is comparatively high, I also think we are more than capable of managing it. Josh and I are attentive, educated parents, able to care for a sick child and recognize if/when an illness requires going to the hospital. We're also skipping the pneumonia and annual flu vaccines. Often times they end up vaccinating for the wrong flu strain anyway, and I don't think the flu virus is unmanageable either in our otherwise healthy child. Lastly, we're doing everything possible to keep Jacek out of daycare (which is a part of our parenting philosophy), which means his exposure to illness is significantly reduced.

Even with the two vaccines Jacek received I'm tempted to report his reaction to VAERS. No, he didn't have any "serious" reactions. However the lethargy that followed for the next two days was clearly not "normal." We kept up with the Tylenol after his shots too, so I can't say if he would have ended up with a fever. Clearly the vaccines affected him.

I am thankful that so many children receive the new schedule without any ill effects. Clearly we'd have a swift change to recommendations if the majority of children suffered as a result of the current schedule. On the other hand, I am not willing to risk my own child's health with mega vaccine doses. We still don't know what causes autism or ADD. I don't believe there is enough research to rule out the potentially neurotoxic effects of polluting an infant's body with whatever preservatives, viruses, and/or toxins are contained in those shots.

So that's my/our take on vaccines for Jacek. It wasn't an easy decision, we certainly didn't enter into this plan lightly. I hold no ill thoughts towards families who choose to vaccinate per CDC recommendations. Following their guidelines simply isn't for us.

7 Quick Takes (Vol 5)

2011-01-14T08:43:00.003-06:00

Pulling off 7 quick takes this week might be a stretch. I'm feeling fairly boring.
- 1 -
Josh started back to college this week. It's a new transition for us. I'm so glad he took last semester off. It was really a blessing to have him rested enough to help take care of Jace when I transitioned back to work. Now we're entering a new phase, and schedule disruption, as we work out getting enough sleep for everyone. Right now Wednesdays are proving the greatest challenge as Josh more or less has class all day, which means I only get naps when Jace naps.

- 2 -
I wish I knew more about html code. I feel I'm generally pretty technologically competent; some of this stuff is just challenging enough to make me feel old. I was rather pleased with myself for learning to change the blog background to this custom template. Also pretty happy with the way everything looks once it's published in Blogger. Unfortunately, when the blog is pushed out through email or to my facebook it isn't quite as clean. The facebook note shows the centering code around the numbers, and mangles embeded YouTubes. Embeded YouTube videos in the emails vanish entirely. I don't know why, and I'm not quite motivated enough to fix it yet. If you're tech savvy and reading this and have a quick solution for me please let me know!

- 3 -
Uncle Jesse bought Jacek a Vulli Sophie the Giraffe Teether as a baby shower gift. We pulled her out of the box last week and boy does Jace ADORE it! He's getting better at grabbing onto things, and putting stuff in his mouth. We've offered him plastic keys, a crinkly soft lion, a hard plastic rattle and a few other soft toys. He's shown some interest in those other toys, but man when he gets his little paw around Sophie's neck he's so happy. He's never been overly fond of his pacifier, but he will go to town sucking on Sophie's head.

And this is where if you're reading this by email or on facebook you'll have to click here to go to the original blog if you really, REALLY want to see Jace enjoying his Sophie. I think it's hillarious, but I'm Mommy.

- 4 -
Jace has also discovered a new talent this week. He now is fully capable of blowing raspberries. Which means we no longer have drool just all over his chin and shirt. Nope, it sprays EVERYWHERE! What fun!

- 5 -
Does anyone else get the weekly free iTunes song? I've picked them up here and there, though lately I'm getting them nearly weekly. Now that I spend my breaks pumping milk I'm listening to my the iPod on my phone more (it's way too hard to read a book or magazine while pumping!). I have a playlist of just the freebies. It's kind of fun to discover that some of those songs I got for free, months or more ago, are popular on the radio now. Plus it's usually a pretty fun variety.

- 6 -
Jace is due for his four month check-up. I need to get that scheduled soon. I wonder if we'll discuss our vaccine plan further. At his two month check I said I wasn't sure we'd vaccinate at all until he was two. After further review we've decided to do the DTaP and HiB vaccinations. I wrote a big long post about our decision; I haven't decided whether to post it. It's long, and probably boring. We'll see.

- 7 -
And of course, our weekly cute baby photo!

I love all the dimples and rolls!

7 Quick Takes (Vol 4)

2011-01-07T08:23:00.002-06:00

- 1 -
Happy 6th Anniversary Josh!
Woot! We've made it through SIX years now as husband and wife! I still don't know how I got so lucky. This man is amazing! He is a great hubby and I love watching what a great daddy he is as well. He's going to be a wonderful example for our son, teaching him how a real man loves and supports his family. We are truly blessed!

- 2 -
And for our anniversary (or luckily coinciding with) we went on our first real date since Jace was born. Mamo (my mom) came over and watched Jacek Thursday afternoon while we went to a matinee of, "Tangled." I had so much fun. Then, filled up with popcorn, we went to Truffles and Tortes in Anoka for desserts. We split a Raspberry Rhumba and a Concerto. Oh the decadence! We also took this opportunity to hold an honest to goodness conversation. I'd almost forgotten what it was like to talk to my husband in complete thoughts with the ability to expand on previous statements! Treats for my tummy and my brain. Hooray!

- 3 -
Jacek received a sound machine with light projector for Christmas from his auntie Alicia. He thinks the light show is the best thing ever! Mommy and daddy enjoy having the rain sounds on since we used to run a fan at night for the white noise. The sound likely soothes baby too. However the sound of the machine isn't nearly as fun as the sound of Jace squealing and cooing at the faces on the moon and stars, or the sheep moving across the ceiling. I thought the light show might be too stimulating for him to fall asleep, but last night Josh put Jace in the co-sleeper with the show on as I got ready for work, and after 15 minutes of cooing he dozed off on his own! We've also been able to use the light show to buy ourselves a few extra minutes in bed when Jace wakes up in non-screaming mode. I've tasked Josh with capturing a video of him talking to the lights; hopefully by next week's 7 Quick Takes I'll be able to post that as well.

- 4 -
Jace and I visited Papa and Gami (My dad and stepmomma) Wednesday. I had the night off, and Josh had had a rough night up with Jace, so we went visiting while Josh got some sound sleep. I know I've said it before but, I love that we have so much family so close who are so interested in loving on our baby boy! I think it's good for Jacek to get out and around other people too. Josh and I are not accustomed to narrating our day (and aren't generally very verbal either), and we know it's good for those baby brains to hear lots of different words in a positive tone. Visiting relatives means more interaction and more words for his growing brain to soak up. Not to mention all the extra hugs and kisses!

- 5 -
I've added another song to my lullaby repertoire! When mom came to visit she told me that Jace liked Richard Scarry's, "Alphabet Song." Which I happen to remember from all the times we sang it around my "baby" brothers (who are now 16 and 14). You can see the lyrics here.
I'm also currently learning the first part of, "Down in the Valley." Grandma replied to my blog on facebook (my 80 year-old Grandma does facebook! How cool is that?) that she used to sing this to my mom. I love the idea of continuing the tradition. Especially since it isn't likely to be a commonly heard tune.
"Down in the Valley"
Down in the valley the valley so low
Hang your head over, hear the wind blow
Hear the wind blow love, hear the wind blow
Hang your head over, hear the wind blow

Roses love sunshine, violets love dew
Angels in heaven, know i love you

- 6 -
I've added an "About Me" page to my blog. Blogger didn't have those sorts of static pages when I first started blogging. So, you can check that page out here if you like. Feel free to leave questions or comments if you'd like more details!

- 7 -
Does it still count as SEVEN quick takes if I always end with a picture of Jacek? Ah well, he's so cute I don't think anyone will mind!

7 Quick Takes (Vol 3)

2011-01-01T15:00:00.003-06:00

- 1 -
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
This holiday ranks pretty low in importance for me. I haven't had a particularly enjoyable New Year's Eve in many, many years. I'm also not all that fond of resolutions. So, when a colleague asked if anyone wanted to work (for holiday nursing pay. Hello double-time-and-a-half), I gladly volunteered!

2010 was life changing for Josh and I. So many changes through pregnancy, birth, and life with a new baby. We were very blessed. I am looking forward to 2011 and all it offers!

- 2 -
I sorta suck at lullabies. I haven't done enough babysitting, and even when I worked pediatric nursing, my clients were often already sleeping. I simply haven't been exposed to lullabies often, and haven't made any CD purchases for my poor lullaby deprived little one. Jace definitely calms down when I sing to him, but I'm getting awfully bored of the same 2 songs. I need some suggestions! Help. Please. I can always buy from iTunes and start listening to them often enough to start learning them.

- 3 -
The only lullabies I frequently sing are "Hush Little Baby" and "10 Little Indians." I had to look up the lyrics for "Hush Little Baby." As for the "10 Little Indians" song, well Josh caught me singing it the other day and asked, "Is that the P.C. version?" Somehow I remembered the tune. I also remembered the counting. I totally forgot that they were Indians, and that it ended with "10." For some reason I was picturing the "Ladybug Picnic" from Seasame Street or some other childhood program, but couldn't get Ladybugs and Picnic to fit the tune. So I made up my own.

I started by replacing "Indians" with random animals. "One little, Two little, Three little Penguins"...and I sent them to a fair "...Nine little Penguins, going to a Penguin fair." The animals all used to go to their respective fairs. I also used to just choose animals at random. But I get bored easily. So now we end with things like, "...porcupines, playing darts at the porcupine fair," or "...doggies, chasing kitties at the doggy fair." As one last little switch, and to entertain myself, I also now pick animals in alphabetical order to challenge myself to find a critter that fits the next letter "Alligators, Bears, Chipmunks, Doggies." So far I'm still stumped by Q and X.

- 4 -
Ok, so maybe I know three lullabies. I googled "lullabye lyrics" (yes I spelled it wrong, because I suck at lullabies. Also, I googled lullabyes to find the correct spelling of the pluralization so I wouldn't look extra dumb in this blog. So, yeah.) and Billy Joel's, "Lullaby (Goodnight My Angel)" popped up as one of the first choices. I checked it out and actually remembered hearing this song before. I was first introduced to Billy Joel by a childhood sweetheart during a blissful summer working at a camp. This song was on the "River of Dreams" CD released that year. I remember thinking when I heard it, "this lullaby is dumb." Now I sort of like it. Plus it reminds me of that simple, happy time some 17 years ago. I almost have the lyrics down, and have added it to my 3-song lullaby repetoir.

- 5 -
Jacek is turning into the cutest little giggle-monster ever! He is one happy, smiley baby and we love him to pieces. Here's a little video clip of his adoreableness:

Oi. Conversion from iPhone, through iMovie, to Quicktime sure distorts the video. Oh well, I'm still learning. Plus we just got a camcorder for Christmas so hopefully we'll have better video in the future.
(If you get this blog via email and the video doesn't show, just go to the original blog to check it out!)

- 6 -
I gave up on New Year's Resolutions last year. Actually, last year I jokingly resolved to: eat more, watch more TV, and gain weight. I am happy to report that I kept those resolutions (with the help of a pregnancy of course).

- 7 -
I just can't resist posting another pic of my little one. He's a busy little guy, and on the verge of rolling over from back to front. He's starting to grab at the curtains when we change him. A couple more wiggles and he'll have it figured out.

Have a blessed One-One-One One (that's 1-1-2011). :D

And don't forget to help me out with my lullaby dilema!

Swaggy McSwagbucks

2010-12-22T08:30:00.001-06:00

I'm not a coupon person. I'm not much of a contest person either. I like deals as much as the next guy, don't get me wrong. It's just that, I don't generally think buying something at a discount is much of a deal if I don't really need the item in the first place.

I'd love to get on board with the grocery store coupon clipping. I hear the stories of people with $250.00 grocery bills paying only like $70 bucks after coupons, and going on double coupon dollar days, doing BOGOs etc. The whole process though freaks me out.

So when I found Swagbucks it took me awhile to jump on board. I found one blog recommending it. Then Googled and found other bloggers raving about it. Then promptly ignored it until once again another blogger brought it back up.

I've signed up and am starting to think it's quite the deal. Primarily, you simply use their search engine, rather than say Yahoo, Google or Bing (does anyone actually use Bing??? I hate Bing! I mean, I love the noise, "BING!" It gives me all sorts of happy thoughts, but the Bing engine is pretty lame), and as you go about your normal internet usage they randomly award you Swagbucks.

You can use the Swagbucks to purchase stuff in their store. From my limited research, the best bang for your Swagbuck is the Amazon giftcard. You can get a $5 card for 450SB, which is $1 for every 90SB.

I've found multiple bloggers indicating that they've managed to pay for their entire Christmas with Swagbucks! Can you imagine, this time next year, not having to spend any cash for gifts??? So I'm about to give it a go. This time next year, I'm buying our presents with Swagbucks.

If you choose to try it too, there is an additional sign up code you can use so that you'll start with 60 Swagbucks. Simply type in: JoinIn2010 (Case sensitive).

While we're talking deals, I ran across one more worth mentioning this week. Amazon is offering free Amazon Prime for one year to college students. Amazon Prime gives you free 2-day shipping (wish I'd known about it before that last minute Christmas purchase, which thankfully managed to arrive on time despite my purchase delay). All you need is a valid .edu email address. Bonus for me: I discovered that their book buyback looks fairly easy, and they offer more Amazon giftcard credit than my college for the bigger textbooks (i.e. not the ones that cost less than $10 brand new). In fact, several of the textbooks I compared between my college buyback price and the Amazon giftcard price differed by over $15. So that silly, "Public Health Nursing" textbook (which I barely opened during class, and never again in the past year) will yield me $45 in Amazon giftcard dollars rather than $30 in actual dollars.

And for the sake of full-disclosure, if you click on the Swagbucks link and sign up, I do get a few Swagbucks (around 10 or 11SB), and a few more SB if you win SBs through their search engine. No bonuses or payouts that I'm aware of if you sign up for the Amazon student thing, I just like them.

7 Quick Takes (Vol 2)

2010-12-17T11:47:00.002-06:00

- 1 -
"He's so alert!" Before Jacek arrived I expected to hear comments like, "What a cute baby," or, "He looks just like his daddy." I did not anticipate the frequency with which I'd also hear, "He's so alert!" He seems normal to me. I don't have any other babies to compare him to. The first few times I heard the comment, I didn't think anything of it. Now I've begun to notice the rather surprised tone, and yes, the frequency with which people note the way he looks around and takes it all in.

- 2 -
I can't help wondering how much of his alertness is nature, and how much nurture. The attachment parenting books all note that when you meet your baby's needs, hold them frequently (i.e. baby wearing), and don't let them "cry it out", that they make the best of their quiet alert times. Because they have the confidence that they will be taken care of, they don't need to worry, or fuss, trying to get their other needs met. On the other hand, I have to say that Jacek has been a happy, easy-going baby from birth.

- 3 -
We're making candy this morning! AmberLee at Giverslog has posted this Failproof homemade carmel recipe. I've made carmel once before with my grandma many years ago. This will be my first attempt at making it on my own. If it's as easy as it looks there may be quite a bit more carmel around my house in the future.

- 4 -
The Dabrowski clan took a Christmas light tour on Tuesday. Josh and I hired a limo for our Christmas present to the family. I was so excited that everyone was available! We had dinner at the Flame in Rosedale (soooo yummy, highly recommend!) and then hopped into the limo for our tour. I have mixed reviews. Riding around in the limo was fun. I enjoyed being able to chat with everyone, and we did see a few spectacular displays. However, the limo was a bit on the old side, so the back end remained chilly for the whole ride. Also, 2 hours, not long enough. I'd likely be more impressed if I weren't comparing it to MetroConnections Holiday Lights tour Josh and I took two years ago. We rode in a coach bus for the MC tour, were toasty warm the whole time, saw at least twice the lights, and had large windows to look through. Final verdict: Next year it's back to the tour bus for us.

- 5 -
I won't be graduating this year. I may not be graduating at all. I've put in my 2 full years at Bethel University to work on my BSN. I have completed all the coursework for that graduation, with the exception of one large assignment. One large assignment we were supposed to start at the beginning of this past semester. The project involves working on a patient care problem at our place of employment. We are supposed to lead a group to work on the problem, come up with and implement a solution. Maternity leave started a bit of a delay. Then my manager at work left her position so I needed to find a different mentor. Then I was told that "they" didn't feel "comfortable" allowing me to do the project on my unit. Then my mentor advocated that I be allowed to do a project on my floor and I was told that my employer needed me to: register as a student nurse at work, complete a student education module, complete a background study with the university and supply the university with up-to-date immunizations. In the process I discovered that my employer transposed two of the numbers in my SS number, requiring me to resupply my SS card before I could register to complete the student education module. By the time I had all this cleared, my original project was no longer relevant, so my mentor and I came up with a new one. Only to discover that the employer has a policy that employees are not to do school assignments on their own floors (never mind that at least 3 other students from my class have the same employer and didn't encounter these obstacles).
I'm starting to feel rather hopeless about the situation, so any prayers you want to send my way are welcome.

- 6 -
I think it bares repeating. There is one. O-N-E one. Singular. Lone. Stupid busywork assignment between me and graduation. Prayers are needed!

- 7 -
And here's a snapshot of Jace to wrap things up. Isn't he so alert?

7 Quick Takes (Vol 1)

2010-12-11T09:40:00.001-06:00

One of the blogs I regularly read, Conversion Diary, hosts a blog carnival called "7 Quick Takes Friday." I have been woefully absent from this poor blog. Baby keeps me quite busy, and away from the computer. Also, my brain doesn't seem to be capable of functioning in full-length blog posts. There have been many times though where I have had a few brief thoughts I'd like to share, and this format seems conducive to that. So for now, I think I will try to make it a habit to at least do a "7 Quick Takes" weekly.

- 1 -
I left a small detail out of my birth story. I'd planned on watching (or have playing in the background) a few DVDs I'd brought along of familiar, comforting movies. When we first settled in I had Josh put in, "The Labyrinth" for me. It played through twice during the night, I was awake at the end the first time, and just told the machine to play again rather than waking Josh or searching through middle of the night cable. By morning the DVD player was no longer working. TNT was hosting the full, "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, so we left that on instead. I distinctly recall getting into the bathtub in our room just before Gandalf the Grey plummeted to his supposed death. I also remember thinking it was funny when we returned to our room after the birth and the trilogy was still running.

- 2 -
I really wish we could have gotten a video of Jacek sneezing those first few weeks. It was unbelievable hillarious the way he'd scrunch up his face and throw his head way back, before blasting forward with the sneeze. Plus, after two or three good sneezes, we'd hear that first hint of his voice as the last, less forceful, sneeze tapered off into a little, "choowaaaahh" and a sigh.

- 3 -

The seven awesome forehead wrinkles didn't last forever. I loved those wild creases. Thankfully we were able to get a picture or two before they vanished at a couple of weeks.

- 4 -
We're using cloth diapers! There's been a bit of a learning curve, and we do still have the occasional leak, but I am very happy with our "fluff" as the cloth diapering community calls it. If I'd realized just how much I'd enjoy the cloth diapers as a part of his outfits I may have spent a bit more money getting a variety of prints and colors instead of going for the best deal. Oh well, we may have enough diapers, but I think I'll probably be buying a couple more down the road. I love that we don't have to go out into the snow to buy more diapers whenever we run out. Plus, Jacek looks so cute with the fluffy bubblebutt! CDs have come along way, and they really are just as easy as disposibles to use now.

- 5 -
Jacek started rolling over at 9 weeks! I was so worried that we weren't giving him enough tummy time. With Gryffyn around, our floors are often a bit on the furry side. I didn't want to set him down there. Plus with the small area in the living room, getting down on the floor with him, still very unflexible post-pregnancy, was not so comfy for me. He did however, spend a lot of time on his belly snoozing on my chest. Actually, pretty much every night for those first four weeks, he slept on my chest. I found he'd sleep the longest that way, and I loved the cuddles too. So I was rather surprised when, at his two month check-up, he rolled over for the doctor twice! I have a great video on my phone of him rolling over. He uses his big ol' noggin to build up the momentum and then, "whoop" over he goes!

- 6 -
We're practicing "Attachment Parenting." A quick Google search will fill you in on the details, otherwise here's a brief overview from Dr. Sears, author of, "The Attachment Parenting Book." I love the AP philosophy, and it's working out great for our family.

- 7 -
I love that so much of our family lives close by! I certainly wouldn't have minded seeing everyone pre-baby as often as we do post-baby, but I'm happy that at least now we are seeing eachother more often. Granted Jacek gets most of the attention (I can't imagine why), but that's ok with me. I love that he has so many people who want to shower him with affection. That is such an awesome environment for him to grow up in!

Welcome to the world little one

2010-10-07T16:13:00.003-05:00

I apologize for the length of this blog. I really just want to get all the details down for my own sake to remember this beautiful child's birth. Feel free to scan the highlights in bold.

Saturday, September 11th Josh and I went to the Renaissance Festival. I'd been pretty tired the past week and was fairly certain that this was my last opportunity to go to faire. I was looking at another 2 weeks of being pregnant and assumed they'd be spent at home resting when not at work.

We had a beautiful time. The weather was gorgeous and we kept walking to a minimum, checking out shows. Despite the lower activity level, I still felt exhausted by 3pm or so (normally I'd stay until close at 7pm), and decided to head home.

We ran a couple of quick errands. At one point, standing in the checkout line at Costco, I suddenly felt a small gush and dashed to the bathroom. I restrained myself from alerting facebook, "Goodbye mucus plug." When we got out to the car I commented to Josh, "No wonder so many people go into the hospital with false alarms of their water breaking. If I didn't know better I'd think the same thing." Thank goodness for the light panty liner I had on!

Josh went out for the evening with the boys for a Magic The Gathering tournament while I rested on the couch. He called around 11pm to ask if I needed anything on his way home, and to ask if it was ok if a couple of friends hung out at our place for awhile. After waking from my nap to answer the phone, I got up to the bathroom.

My water broke! I wasn't sure at first. I just knew that when I stood up my pants became soaked! I cleaned up, put on new panties and comfy pants, walked back to the couch and...GUSH! Soaked again. So much for that light liner I was wearing! Still not willing to believe that my water broke I once again changed panties and put on my last pair of clean comfy pants as Josh walked in the door with 2 of the guys.

I called Josh to the bedroom.

"I think my water broke" and I explained. Then pointed to the damp spot that appeared as I was talking.

I called my midwife and was told I'd have to go into the hospital to have it checked out. She was fairly certain my water broke given how much fluid there was. I'd just had my last midwife appointment two days before and my cervix was still closed, but thinning at that point. Chances were good that I'd need Cervidil to ripen the cervix, and most likely pitocin following that. This was SO not what I'd had in mind for my delivery (aiming for all natural with no interventions).

I called Gina Picht (our doula) to let her know what was going on. Gina was understanding and discussed my options with me. There is a window of time before induction HAS to occur, and I think she was implying that I should/could stay home for awhile to see if labor would start on its own. I'd already called the midwife though (Mary Hayes was on-call tonight) and she'd told the hospital to expect our arrival. And while I was not thrilled about induction, I didn't want to risk baby's safety either. I could/should have educated myself more on what to expect if my water broke early, but it's such a rare thing (only 13% of births).

So Josh and I packed up a bag for the hospital. We were supposed to have another 2 weeks! We weren't ready yet. I called my mom to let her know what was going on, and to get a bit of prayer power behind us.

Struggling to find a way to get to the hospital without drenching the seat of the car, I suddenly remembered that I had freshly laundered cloth diaper liners. I hadn't expected to need heavy pads before going to the hospital! Good thing those liners are absorbent suckers. We made it all the way to St. Joseph's without a wetspot getting through to my jeans.

I think I managed to stay pretty calm getting out to the hospital. I talked Josh into stopping at McDonalds for a milkshake. I was hungry (despite eating a TON from Arby's just a few hours prior), and didn't want to risk waiting for breakfast at the hospital.

During the drive I kept trying to tell if I was starting to have contractions. There wasn't any pain. I did feel a few lower abdominal cramps along the drive, but they were pretty minor.

We pulled into St. Joe's ER and I got a nauseating ride in a wheelchair up into the maternity ward. They brought us right to the room we'd be keeping for labor and postpartum. A nurse came in to get a sample of the gushing fluid to verify that it was in fact my water breaking.

We had confirmation, my water had indeed broken. The nurse checked my cervix (which by the way HURTS!). I was dilated 1-2 and 50% effaced. The midwife had called in the order for cervidil. It looked like a piece of twill tape or ribbon. The nurse told me to be careful going to the bathroom so that I didn't tug the end and pull the medicine out. The cervidil was administered at about 3am. It needed to stay in for 12 hours. I was told to expect some cramping, but that this medication rarely actually brought on labor and that I'd most likely need pitocin. I was so disappointed and nervous. I knew that contractions would be stronger and more painful with this induction. I also knew that pitocin often led to an epidural and I really, really wanted a natural birth.

Upon our arrival to the hospital I also found out that I was Group B Strep positive. I'd just had the test done 2 days prior and hadn't heard the results yet. I was going to need IV antibiotics every 4 hours until the baby arrived.

I was becoming increasingly disappointed. I knew that we were doing everything that needed to be done, but I didn't want to be attached to an IV. Also, because of the cervidil I also needed to be attached to a fetal monitor. In other words, I was pretty much stuck to the bed.

The nurse offered me 200mg of vistaril to help me relax. Knowing that I'd be laboring later in the day I took the medicine hoping to get some sleep to store up the energy I'd need.

I was able to sleep most of the night until about 8am. I woke periodically with vicious cramps that had me grasping the bed rail and moaning/whimpering. They'd pass and I'd fall asleep once again.

I was able to eat breakfast, an omelette, french toast and grapes. I called Gina again around 9 for an update, letting her know that the cramps were about 5-7 minutes apart.

After a trip to the bathroom at 11:30am I noticed a ribbon in the toilet. I'd accidently managed to pull out the medication! I let my nurse know, she took a look and verified it was the medication. Mary Hayes (my midwife) had arrived, or was about to arrive, so I was able to wait for Mary to check my cervix and determine if I was going to need more cervidil. Mary checked my cervix again, 2-3 cm. Thankfully I was far enough along that we were able to start the pitocin. Mary suggested/offered to let me take a shower before starting the pitocin, and I gladly agreed.

I called my mom again with an update, or maybe she called me. She wanted to know if she could stop by and did I need anything. I asked for lemon drops (don't know why I was craving those, haven't had them in years) and a finger nail clipper. I'd let my nails get long, intending to cut them before my due date. I was worried that I'd scratch the baby accidently. Mom offered to come in and give me a manicure and a pedicure, and help keep me distracted for what we anticipated would be a long labor.

At 12:30 in the afternoon pitocin started. I began having contractions that were 2 minutes apart very quickly, despite starting on the lowest dose. That's 2 minutes between the start of each contraction. In other words, I was only getting a one minute break in between. I was given a birth ball to sit/rock on to help with the pain and I called Gina to come in about 1:30pm.

I remember saying that I felt like such a baby for complaining about the pain so early. Josh was totally awesome. I'd ordered lunch in an attempt to get some more energy, and Josh offered me bites of my sandwich in between contractions. I think I managed 3 whole bites. He also kept offering me sips of water and telling me what a great job I was doing.

Someone suggested I move to the bathtub in the room to see if that would help. I did feel better soaking, but I was still struggling with the pain.

Gina arrived about 2pm. She encouraged me to turn to my side so I'd be more comfortable. She brought in something to block the overflow drain of the tub so that she could add more hot water. She also got a pitcher and showed Josh how to pour the water over me during contractions, which was very soothing. She also brought a pillow for the bathtub for me to rest my head on. She talked me through the contractions, changing my moans from tense high-pitched whines to relaxed low-pitched tones. I remember she also was rubbing lavender oil into my feet. The contractions still hurt, but not as much, and I felt like I could actually get through them.

Mary came into the room needing to check my cervix again. The baby had a few decelerations and they were concerned about them. Gina advocated for checking me in the tub where I was comfortable, but Mary really needed me back in the bed.

Back in bed I wasn't too aware of what was going on. According to Gina's notes it was 3pm I was at 6cm and 100% effaced.

At one point, while I was in the bed a contraction came and a nurse offered me her hand. Still a little buried inside myself I recognized that this hand was way too small and not what I wanted. I yelled, "No, I want my husband's hand." And they let Josh back up to me. I'm so glad he was there with me through this.

I was so uncomfortable in the bed. Gina brought the birth ball to the head of the bed and I knelt in the bed and laid my upper body over the top of the ball. I remember there was so much pain. Gina told me how great I was doing, how my body was getting ready for the baby. Josh too was telling me how awesome I was.

I know they were doing things to make me more comfortable, but I was no longer fully aware of my surroundings. Josh's and Gina's voices were the only ones I really heard, though I was vaguely aware of the midwife and other nurses. During one contraction Gina pressed my hips together which felt really, really good. I heard her instructing Josh where to push on the left hip so that in following contractions she could push on the right. It was even better since the pressure was stronger.

My legs were getting so tired. I wasn't sure I'd be able to stay on the ball much longer. I was exhausted and started asking about the birthing tub. Begging to move to it. I heard them say it took 30 minutes to fill. I recall some talk about checking the temperature to make sure it was safe for baby.

Something changed and I started pushing. I'd roll back off the ball to my hips and the pain was different. It didn't hurt the same, in fact it felt rather good to be pushing instead of the cramping pains I'd had before. I never did feel the contractions in the top of my stomach, always they were low like the worst gas pains ever. I heard Gina tell someone (the midwife?) that I'd started pushing.

According to Gina's notes I was complete (10 cm) at 3:20, just 20 minutes from 6-10. I don't remember there being another cervical check though.

I don't think I had too many pushing contractions before I finally got to move to the tub room. I recall lying in the bed they used to move me to the tub room, and someone telling me to put my hands in the bed so they wouldn't risk bumping them in the doorway.

At 3:30pm I got into the birthing tub. I had to climb up a step to get into the tub, and when I sat down I immediately slid down into the water. The tub was HUGE! I heard someone ask Josh if he'd brought swim trunks. We hadn't discussed the possibility of him joining me in the tub. Josh started to say he hadn't brought any, when I yelled, "Yes, you do! They're in the front pocket of the suitcase." I had done most of the packing to go to the hospital. We were using the same suitcase we'd used just a few weekends prior when we'd stayed at a hotel for the opening weekend of the renaissance festival. I noticed the trunks as I packed and for some reason decided to leave them in there. Thank goodness I did!

Josh climbed into the tub with me. With his body cradled around me I felt so much more comfortable and supported.

Image somewhat blurred for modesty's sake.

At 3:45pm my mom arrived. I remember hearing her voice behind me, and someone saying that she was here. I had told Gina that I was going to be OK with Mom in the room, but I wasn't sure that I wanted her involved. So Mom quietly observed.

At this time Mary asked me to switch positions so that I was on my hands and knees. Changing positions in the tub was so much easier than on the bed. Thankfully I was unaware that I was being asked to change positions because Mary believed that Jacek was posterior facing and wanted him to rotate. I would have worried that I wouldn't get through the labor if I'd known that.

As the contractions came I'd rock back on my heels. In between contractions I leaned forward and rested my head on Josh's chest. The water was a little high and Gina would hold my chin to keep my mouth out of the water. I wasn't worried about it since I'm used to swimming and breathing through my nose, but I didn't argue.

At 4pm I returned to the reclined position with Josh behind me. A nurse was helping to support my right foot, sort of providing a ledge for my foot to rest against between contractions. The nurse left and I had a terrible time getting comfortable. I called for my mom to come hold my foot and she took up the nurses position (as shown in the first photo). I felt better once my leg was supported again, and I knew Mom would want to see what was happening. Mary was having a little bit of trouble with the dim lighting and Mom assisted holding a flashlight also.

4:10 pm the head was visible! I remember feeling my body stretch around him. Mary had to get right in my face to provide instructions. I was told that with these contractions she was going to tell me to stop pushing to allow my body to stretch. When Mary would tell me to stop pushing Gina guided me into saying, "puh, puh, puh, puh, puh." Which helped me focus on something else and stop holding my breath as I pushed. I was being encouraged to reach down and touch his head too, but I was a little too freaked out to do that. It was too surreal, I couldn't believe this was actually happening.

There was a little bit of pain as the baby's shoulders emerged. I recall Mary commenting a brief wait because she saw or felt the umbilical cord.

At 4:25 Jacek was born! Mary told me to reach down and pick him up. She had to tell me twice, but I certainly wasn't going to wait any longer to meet him. With Mary's help I brought Jacek up to my chest. He was crying and so beautiful.

We were given a warm blanket to cover up with.

Once the umbilical cord stopped pulsing Mary and one of the nurses helped Josh to cut the cord. The nurses then took Jacek to wipe him off while Josh and I got out of the tub.

Josh took a quick shower and changed clothes right away. I was helped out of the tub, and back into the bed, which was now quite well covered with chux pads.

It seems to me that once I was back in bed Jacek was placed on my chest right away with blankets over us to provide skin to skin time. I can't exactly remember when I got him, but I think if it were later I would have remembered him crying, rather than being calm on my chest. I also remember feeling so happy and content, which makes me think I had him with me at this time.

Mary told me to push again to deliver the placenta. The placenta was no problem to deliver, but there was more bleeding than Mary wanted. Mary massaged my uterus to keep it contracted and decrease the bleeding. I also got a bolus of pitocin from the IV and a shot in my left thigh of methergine.

Once the bleeding stopped Mary checked me out. I only had a small tear, and after a shot of local anesthetic she stitched it up with only one stitch.

At 5pm we were able to try breast feeding. Jacek knew right what to do. He'd already been sucking on his hands.

With some instruction from Gina I positioned Jacek and he began rooting with his mouth open wide. He latched on right away. Josh helped keep his nose free so he could breathe.

At 5:45pm we moved back to our room. I took a bath to allow Josh some time of his own to hold Jacek skin-to-skin. At our breastfeeding class the instructor emphasized the importance of the daddy getting skin-to-skin time in those first two alert awake hours. Research has shown that dads who get this time are more engrossed (bonded) with their babies. As I soaked in the tub the nurse came to finish Jacek's assessment before Josh held Jacek. That's when we found out he weighed 6 pounds 7 ounces and was 20 inches long.

Refreshed after my bath I climbed into bed and watched my boys snuggling in the rocking chair. I felt exhausted and energized both. It was still just so surreal. I couldn't believe this little baby had only hours before been inside me.

It's been a busy time since Jacek has joined our family. It's taken nearly a month to complete his birth story in bits and pieces. We're still getting to know each other and adjusting to the changes in our family. We love our son so much and it's such a joy watching him grow. He's been with me throughout this writing, sleeping on my chest in either our Sleepy Wrap or Maya Wrap. We're all looking forward to our new adventures as a family.

Extra special thanks to Gina Picht. I'm not sure I would have made it through labor without the epidural without her help and expertise. We are so blessed to have had her with us for that alone. I'm also so thankful for the photos she took for us and the additional time line. They are priceless.

Feeling Pregnant

2010-07-30T14:48:00.000-05:00

32 weeks pregnant
Wow, it's been a looooong time since I've last blogged. The pregnancy has been going wonderfully. Jacek is doing well too, happily kicking, punching and rolling back and forth in my belly. Overall things have been blessedly uneventful.

This week though, I've really started to FEEL pregnant. Too much time on my feet last weekend, combined with a bit too much heat, and my ankles became quite swollen. It's strange to look at your own feet and find them almost unrecognizable.

I seem to have suddenly lost the use of my abdominal muscles as well. Josh has teased that one of these days he's going to come home and find me stuck on the couch. It's true. I totally took it for granted, the ability to simply stand at will. Now I have to lay back, wiggle my butt to the front of the couch, then roll to either side and push myself back up. Perched on the edge of the couch I can just manage to hoist myself up to standing with a few efforts and a bit of grunting. I probably look like a beached whale! Or maybe a fat seal flopping around. It's quite comical.

Sleeping is totally different now too. It used to be so easy to switch positions and get comfy. I'd do it in my sleep. I'm pretty sure I don't move much at all while sleeping anymore. I actually have to wake up to turn from side to side. Turning isn't what it used to be either. I have to pull my knees up and use my feet to help push me from one side to the other. If I'm turning away from Josh I'll also grab the edge of the mattress to help hoist myself over! The days of sleeping on my back are long gone. Baby was big enough even a couple weeks ago to make back sleep unmanageable. According to the books, the weight of the baby presses on the major vein returning to the heart and interferes with oxygen exchange and circulation. A few weeks ago I actually woke myself up with a rather embarrassing snort on a few occasions (as my body demanded more air), discovering I'd moved to my back in my sleep.

I made a rather uncomfortable discovery yesterday as well. Gryffyn has been shedding like crazy lately and our brief attentions with the brush haven't been keeping up. I decided to give him a real thorough brushing yesterday and spent about 3 hours sitting on our hard floor, not realizing that the additional weight of the baby pressing downwards would cause problems. Needless to say, I now need an ice pack for places that typically don't end up swollen. I learned my lesson with that one!

For all the changes and occasional discomforts I wouldn't change a thing. I'm so excited to meet our little boy, but I'm not in any hurry to get through the next two months. Maybe it's the procrastinator in me, but we aren't ready yet. I've got the plans in place, but there's still some work to be done. I'm happy to know we have 8 more weeks to prepare.

The Ultrasound

2010-05-18T15:15:00.000-05:00

21 weeks along now.

We had the ultrasound yesterday! I've been so anxious waiting for this. We had to postpone the first one which was scheduled last week because Josh had a stinking final exam. Darn school!

I spent the day, thinking I should get a nap in, or do homework, but I was just too excited. I love the clinic I'm going to, they let my husband, mom, and grandma all come along. They didn't do ultrasounds back in Grandma's day, and she had never been to one, so it was a brand new experience for her too. I had no idea that they looked at SO much during the exam.

So right off the bat we all watched this amazing view:
Baby looked like it was having hiccups, so we got to see it move quite a bit here. The ultrasound tech let us know that the brain keeps sending baby signals like that to strengthen their little muscles.

Next up, she scanned down to take a peek at its little thighs and between its legs. We had told her we wanted to find out if it was a boy or a girl. "Well," she says, "What do you think that little protuberance is?" Yup, we're having a boy!

I had been a little concerned about how I would handle this moment. I thought I really wanted a girl. When I heard it was a boy I was just so thrilled to find out more about this beautiful baby. I think I was just as excited to find out that it was a boy, as I would have been if she'd told me it was a girl. I just kept falling more and more in love with him as the ultrasound went on.

The exam continued, with Mom and Grandma cooing over him, as Josh watched quietly. We saw his full belly, and full bladder, his kidneys, his heart, his brain and lots of specific brain parts. The tech took lots of measurements, parts of the brain, the length of the femur, circumference of his little head. We saw that the umbilical cord had all 3 blood vessels. He was beautiful and perfect. I hadn't been worried about his health, but it was a relief none the less to hear that everything was as it should be. He didn't have any of the markers for Down's Syndrome or other chromosomal abnormalities. It isn't a guarantee, but it's a pretty good sign.

Our little boy was stubborn in his refusal to let the tech get a profile shot. The tech was determined to see his little nose bone and check for cleft lips too. In the process we also got these two shots.
The first one is his little skeletal face. Where the tech typed "FACE" is just above his forehead, to the left, running along the top of the photo is his forearm with his little hand curled near his cheek. It's not a clear shot, and likely won't make any greater sense unless I could actually point at it in person.

Here you can clearly see the bottom of his little foot:

At this point the tech cleaned the goo off my belly and told me to go for a walk to try and wiggle our stubborn little boy into a better position for a profile shot. Upon our return we again tried to get a view of his face. He did a nice little stretch for us, extending his neck way back (as when you look up at the sky). We got to watch him sucking down amniotic fluid, his little mouth moving in suck, suck, suck fashion. So wonderful!
This was the best of the profile shots we were able to get. He still wasn't quite turned for a good picture.

His body is on the left, head on the right, looking straight upward. Don't worry, I'll be posting much clearer pictures once he's actually born!

After the ultrasound, Josh had to skedadle off to work so I didn't get much of a chance to talk to him. He seemed happy though (under the exhaustion from being up all night too). I met with the midwife, and then Mom and I joined Grandma at her house for about an hour before heading out to do some shopping. As I waited for the midwife, I texted my step-momma to let her know it was a boy (at this point it was nearly 45 minutes past our appointment time, and I knew she was dying to find out if we were having a boy or a girl). I also updated Facebook with the good news.

Later, as Mom and I were shopping she asked when I was going to call my sister to let her know. I said, "I already updated Facebook, so she probably knows already." Mom was a little shocked to find out that I'd already managed to update so many people, had several "likes" and comments already. Oh the joys of modern technology!

After shopping (which included a stop at the Apple store and a fun chat with my cousin Emily working there), dinner at Good Earth, and back home I called Barb (step-momma) to chat about the day a bit more.
"So, are you still going to call him 'Sasha'?" she asked.
"Josh won't let me."
"Well then, do you have any other names picked out?"
I explained that Mom had just given me a baby name book so I was at the beginning of looking into it. I mentioned being fond of both Daniel and Logan.
After the call, and feeling pretty sleepy, I took a peek at Facebook to see if Josh had posted anything for his status. He sure did, "Too bad ultrasounds can't tell hair color, then we would know if we should name our baby boy beavis, or butthead..." I love this man!

I woke up around 2am, just as Josh was coming to bed after work. Snuggled up, I finally had a chance to talk to him.
"So how do you feel about having a boy?" I asked.
"I think it's great." Or something to that extent. I was sleepy, I don't remember exactly.
The topic of names came up and he teased, "Well I'm getting a lot of positive feedback from Facebook."
"We are NOT naming our boy 'Beavis' OR 'Butthead'!" I exclaimed.
"Are you sure? I think we should let Facebook decide."
After a bit more teasing he asked, "What do you think of Jacek?"
"Jacek?"
"Yeah, Jacek. J-A-C-E-K. It's Polish."
"It's a little odd. Sort of sounds like 'Basic.' Plus, I knew a boy in elementary school named, 'Jace' and he was kinda mean. I don't know, I'll have to think about it. I sort of like Daniel or Logan. You know, Logan, like Wolverine!"
He laughed and mentioned asking one of the guys he plays Magic with, if his dad named him 'Logan' after the X-Men. Apparently that Logan's dad is a fan of comics, so Logan thought it might have been the basis for his name.
Josh then recommended a series of bizarre names based on Magic cards. The most reasonable one being Gideon. I mentioned that I already had a girlfriend with a firstborn named Gideon, so that was a no-go for me.
So I asked a bit more about Jacek. "Did you just go through the list of Polish names to find the most normal one?" Seriously, the baby book section with Polish names was full of odd sounding things like, "Boleslaw" and "Zbigniew."
"No" he says, "I was looking through the 'J' names. I thought it would be cool if we had the same first initial."

I melted. I've been super gushy about the whole pregnancy. I've wanted a baby ages before we started trying. Josh wasn't reserved about our baby, but he is a boy and not prone to overly-gushy behavior. It's comments like that last one that tell me he's maybe as excited as I am about our little boy.

"You know," I said, "I'll probably end up dropping the 'K' when talking to him."
"Yeah, I figured with 'Jacek' we could call him, 'Jace' or 'Jacey' or 'Jay.' And when he gets in trouble we can yell, 'Jacek Dabrowski!' With that nice hard 'K' at the end."

I think Jacek is starting to grow on me.

It was a long and wonderful day. I woke up this morning all smiles. I am even more in love with both these men in my life. I feel like I could just burst!

In utero and already not a fan

2010-05-07T11:41:00.000-05:00

Well I think it's official. Baby Sasha is not a fan of the dentist.

We're 19 weeks into the pregnancy now, it's the time when I'm supposed to be able to feel my little one start moving around. They say it's harder to tell for new moms, and I may not even be able to feel it until 20 weeks. I'm hyper-analyzing every abdominal sensation these days. I can clearly feel my own pulse in my belly button which is distracting. I'll think I feel a movement, and then the pulsing kicks in and I don't know for sure. Or I'll feel one little pop, and wonder if it's the baby or a gas bubble.

Imagine my surprise then to discover that Sasha is not a fan of the dentist! I was back in again, still working on fixing my front teeth (I've had non-chew worthy temporary crowns for awhile now). The new permanent crowns weren't fitting quite right and the dentist decided to "adjust my bite" on the lower teeth (i.e. drill them down). The dentist starts the drilling and Sasha started the jumping. It was awesome!!! The dentist had to run the drill 2-3 more times after that, and each time I could clearly feel her (or him). Poor thing was probably so startled by the loud noise.

I can hardly justify trying to startle the baby into action again, and I'm back to not being sure if Sasha is wiggling around much. I've actually begun to wonder if the baby has confused circadian rhythms with my night schedule. Is Sasha sleeping at night while I'm awake, and vice versa? I'm not worried about not feeling the movements often yet. I'm just really looking forward to feeling them consistently.

We'll be having the first ultrasound on May 17th. I'm so excited to find out more about our baby! The past couple months have been pretty tame on the pregnancy front, it will be fun to have more information (and to know whether to start shopping for pink or blue)!

Twinge-y Time

2010-04-08T01:43:00.000-05:00

(15 weeks pregnant today)

Wow, it's been a long time since I've updated.

We are well into the 2nd trimester now. Morning sickness left several weeks ago and I have been feeling fantastic! (Not that I had much more than exhaustion, mild nausea and almost no actual sickness with my morning sickness).

I'm really enjoying this pregnancy. I find it fascinating the way my body is changing. I wasn't thrilled with the sore chest and need to now sleep in a bra. Ugh. Not to mention needing to go out and purchase new bras as I swiftly outgrew my old ones. Tummy changes were quite a bit more difficult for me to notice.

As mentioned several times in this blog, weight has always been an issue. I didn't have a tiny tummy to begin with. I kept inspecting my middle, trying to determine if I was poofier yet. My clothes weren't fitting differently a few weeks ago when I noticed a new dimple at the bottom of my lower abdominals. I wasn't getting much bigger, but things were starting to shift.

Two weeks ago I was thrilled to discover the beginning of a midline seam running up my tummy! A quick google search tells me it's called a "linea nigra". So far, mine is really faint, and only on the lower tummy. I think it's kinda neat.

Today I think I can safely say I'm starting to look pregnant rather than just plain fat. My fat jeans still fit, thankfully. I'm guessing it won't be too much longer though before I'll need to start looking at buying maternity clothes. I'm already needing to get out to buy some new scrubs, pants especially. Mine are starting to get snug, and who knows how fast things will progress.

I still think it's totally surreal that I'm pregnant. I had thought we'd be waiting months after giving up birth control, not merely a couple of weeks. It boggles my mind that this is happening. I half expect the midwives to say, "haha just kidding, you aren't really pregnant" every time I go in for an appointment. I'm looking forward to more obvious pregnancy signs, a really big belly and feeling the baby move around.

Last update is for the blog title. I'd certainly characterize the last few weeks, starting at the 12 week mark maybe, as my twinge-y time. It's become more frequent this past week. Ligaments are stretching and inside bits are being shoved out of place. I am frequently aware of my lower belly because of all the twinge-y sensations. Little pulls here, little pulls there. Not quite crampy, just a bit uncomfortable. I'm learning to change positions a little more slowly or those twinges can really hurt.

Oh and before I forget, most of my food aversions have fled. I still think that eggs look gross unless they are scrambled. Otherwise I'm eating pretty much everything. Everything and then some... I've been ravenous lately and really need to start focusing on eating healthier foods. My bad food habits were worsened during the food aversion period where I was happy to just find anything I could manage to desire to eat. Now I desire lots of junk and it's not healthy. I do want to stick to a healthy weight gain with this pregnancy and choosing healthier foods is an important part of that. (I type this after just indulging in Taco Bell, oi). I've got my work cut out for me.

Hopefully it won't be another month before the next update!

Exhaustion and everything else

2010-02-28T08:00:00.003-06:00

(9 weeks and a few days along today)

I've discovered why I rarely find detailed pregnancy blogs on the internet. Everyone's too darn exhausted to find energy to sit in front of the computer and put two coherent words together.

The pregnancy books said to expect to be a little more tired. Boy is that an understatement. I feel like I can be productive for about 4 hours a day, if I'm lucky. Otherwise I'd rather just be conked out sleeping or lounging on the couch. I become winded so easily. I actually need to get to the hospital about five minutes earlier now if I don't want to be panting by the time I get to the report room walking my normal speed.

I had my first prenatal appointment last Monday. It was a nurse appointment, just to draw labs, go over the H&P and cover some basics. I'm supposed to start drinking WAY more water. 6 bottles a day! Assuming she means the 16 ounce bottles (please not the 20 ounce ones) that's still 96 ounces. That is A LOT OF WATER! I am also supposed to be walking 30 minutes a day. I find it very challenging to do that when I have little energy, and am easily winded. I've told Josh he needs to help me out with this a little, give me that push. Last night he asked if I'd walked yet today. No. "Have you walked at all since Monday?" No. So he made me get off the couch and we took the dogs for a 30 minute walk. I was breathing heavy when we got home, but I really enjoyed the fresh air and spending time out with my awesome hubby.

Last big thing I got out of my appointment: Don't eat sandwich meat unless it's steaming hot. Ugh! Seriously? No lunch meat? I'm beginning to feel like I can't eat ANYTHING right now.

Here's the thing. I've had it very easy in the morning sickness department. I was pretty worried about it after reading the pregnancy books. After talking to my mom and my sister though I found out that neither of them really had any greater issue than occasional wooziness. That's all I've had to contend with too. Thank you God! On the other hand though, I'm dealing with some serious food aversions and general lack of appetite.

There haven't been many cravings. That cheese danish thing only lasted a day. I have discovered that pancakes and pecan cluster DQ Blizzards both taste better than they ever have ever before in my entire life. YUM! Although neither of those items should be indulged in on a regular basis. Not exactly nutrient rich or healthy.

Things that I used to enjoy are now super disgusting. Eggs are nasty. I can't look at them. I used to love them with runny yokes, or scrambled with cheese, turned into omelets, etc. etc. Now they are disgusting. EWwww!

I had assumed that shrimp and seafood were next on my new hate list. That was before Josh made steak last night. He asked if I was hungry. I mentioned that I should be, but wasn't. So he decided to whip up dinner hoping I'd change my mind by the time he was done. It smelled like grilled ham sandwich at first, but when I went to look at it... I had to run from the room. I didn't mind the smell, but I could not LOOK at it. I couldn't even look at his plate while he ate. Ewwww...

I think I might need to start looking for more plant based proteins. Peanut butter is one of the new stars of my diet. Though also not healthy. I think when I hit the grocery store today (assuming I can make it through there) I'll have to pick up some hummus and see if it's manageable. Or maybe I'll just make up that grocery list and send Josh out later.

And lest I make this all about myself, I must say that Josh is the most amazing husband! He's always been great, but he's really doing everything he can to help take care of me through this. If you don't count his malicious bacon wiggling when he was eating the steak as he found my disgust quite amusing. Other than that though, he's totally awesome!

Everything SMELLS!!!

2010-02-09T05:18:00.001-06:00

UGH! I'd heard about the sense of smell being heightened, but I had no idea it would be like this!

I feel like I have the world's worst super power: I can smell with the nose of a blood hound. Watch out villains! What a perfectly useless thing to have.

I can't lay on the couch without the dogs coming over to say hello and breathing in my face. ewww. I can barely feed the dogs their food is so stinky. I made the mistake of going into a pet store with Josh the other day and thought I was going to fall over dead from the stink of animal food.

Someone was cooking something near my classroom the first day of class last Wednesday. Everyone could smell it, but I could SMELL it. blargh!

Shift change at work the other day someone came in who'd either Febreezed their clothes or sprayed some sort of "fresh linen" body spray on themselves. I couldn't stand it! Get me away! For heaven's sake please just stop walking around and let the smell settle with you please!!!

Thankfully, so far, no morning sickness! YAY! Despite all the nasty stinky stenches. I'm still getting woozy here or there, but no actually getting sick.

I'm still so super excited about the coming baby!

I had such a great night!

2010-02-08T07:45:00.000-06:00

I had such a great night, and I didn't even watch the Super Bowl!

Last night I got together with Jenna. She was willing to go on a bit of an adventure with me.

Ever since reading this article by Girl Friday I've been dying to go get a henna tattoo. Bonus, the tattoo place is just around the corner from a fantastic sushi restaurant!

We went in the day light (I know my parents will worry when they read this, it was still DAY time!) to the Somali mall near uptown. Like the girls in the article, we had to do a bit of exploring to find the place. The artists are no longer in Suite #110, I wish I'd thought to note the new number. Anyways, a man in Suite #110 was kind enough to walk us down the hall to a closed white door and sort of waved in that direction while saying, "henna." We were asking each other if it was closed since the door was shut, but two ladies outside said, "not closed, people inside." So we hesitantly knocked on the door and peeked in. The women inside invited us to sit down, and after an awkward entrance of wondering if we should take our shoes off we eventually made our way to a nearby couch to wait.

We had fun chatting and catching up as we watched two of the henna artists work on a woman. She had the tops of both her feet totally covered up to mid calf. The fronts and backs of her hands, and her whole forearms were done also. I enjoyed watching the designs bloom onto her skin. I liked seeing too how they used two different types of henna to color in the tattoo after applying the black outline.

One artist took a break from the tattoo covered woman to work on us. Jenna went first and had her left palm covered. She's a server and was being cautious that her manager wouldn't get upset by a more visible creation. I wish I'd gotten a photo of her design.

Once I was up one of the Somali women who was there with the other customer started chatting with Jenna, "Don't you want more?" Jenna said she was a server and needed to hide it. The woman started telling her all the ways we could get henna, our necks, our backs, our feet, ANYWHERE!

The women are very skilled at their craft. It took less than ten minutes to complete this creation which I received.

Sorry for the photo quality, it's not easy taking pictures of your own right hand!

The dye they use really does come out that black. I love it! Even better, they only charged me $5. Jenna's palm tattoo was $3! I'm sure we'll be going back again in the future.

Next up was the sushi bar! The place was fairly deserted, Super Bowl Sunday and all. We sat right in front of the chef, watching as all the creations were made. We chatted with the chef a bit. He noticed my tattoo and asked how long it took. He seemed shocked when I said, "Ten minutes." We had to explain that it was henna and temporary. The chef himself had quite a colorful sleeve running up his right arm. He was friendly and started telling us that the woman working with him was his wife, "She doesn't work here, she just didn't want to stay home." How sweet!

At the end of our meal the chef made a special treat for us. He carved a rose out of strawberry, created a couple of swans from wide slices of orange, and placed two more strawberries on toothpicks. It was so beautiful! Not to mention tasty. If I'd known we were going to have that bit of sweet I wouldn't have even ordered the green tea ice cream.

I had such a delightful evening I didn't even mind the crazy snow falling. I can't wait to do it again sometime!

We have news!

2010-02-05T14:08:00.001-06:00

I was going to write a post about the horrible side effects I was experiencing while going off of hormonal birth control. Within two weeks, my breasts were sore, and then the cramping. UGH!!!

I searched through the internet, looking for information, and sure enough, other women had experienced the same thing.

I wasn't the least bit worried when I didn't get my period on time. All the info out there says it can take months for your cycle to return to normal.

Coming home from work one morning, feeling particularly uncomfortable, I start searching for more information. Specifically, "How long will the sore boobs last?!?!" I couldn't find any decent information. I did stumble on a link that mentioned how soon after conception sore boobs can start though.

Nah, couldn't be. No way am I pregnant this early. We JUST quit BC. It's not possible! Further reading indicated that the pain was do to the rapid increase in size. I whipped out my old measuring tape. No WAY! I am so not pregnant.

Then I took the test.

HOORAY!!!

I've been reading the pregnancy book I bought years ago. It attempts to maintain balance, but I'm a little freaked out about the morning sickness. I've been feeling queasy the past couple of days now. I almost wonder if it's psycho-somatic. Like, if I didn't know I was supposed to end up with massive amounts of nausea, would I feel so woozy now?

Who knows? At this point though all the discomfort is TOTALLY worth it!

Josh was pretty excited too (or he put on a good show for me;)). I love that he asked, "You ordered a girl right?" I did. I did order a girl. Now to pray that God's customer service is impeccable in this arena hehe!

Is this a craving?

2010-02-02T08:00:00.000-06:00

All I wanted this morning was a cream cheese pastry.

A co-worker was kind enough to buy me some oatmeal from the cafeteria this morning when it opened. I certainly wasn't overly hungry after a nice hot bowl of oatmeal, but the desire for pastries just wouldn't go away. I debated going out for one the whole way home. I even drove past the driveway as I changed my mind, then changed again, looped around the block and up the driveway. I used the excuse to check with Josh and see if he wanted a coffee as long as I was out.

I ended up buying an egg soufle, chocolate croissant, and coffee for Josh. A bagle/egg/bacon sandwich, 2 cream cheese and cherry pastries and a plain cream cheese pastry for myself. The staff offered up silverware and asked, "How many will this be for?" I said, "Two." They were shocked, "TWO?!?!?!" It was pretty funny.

As I sit here, two pastries remain. I'm trying to remember that I'm not hungry anymore and do not NEED to eat more pastries right now. No, I do not NEED to eat... oh darn they're tempting!

Meet Marco!

2010-01-14T12:23:00.002-06:00

Marco is a 7 month old Great Pyrenees that Josh and I are fostering. We'd been talking about bringing another dog into our household, but we were uncertain whether or not we really had room for more. As a result we decided to foster. Fostering gives us the opportunity to "try on" having another dog, the pleasure of saving this precious puppy's life from a high-kill shelter, and the enjoyment of his company. The rescue group covers the vet bills, we provide the love, roof, treats and food. We'll also be bringing Marco to PetSmart adoption events locally.

We'd been browsing Pet Finder searching for a puppy or dog to foster. We very nearly took in two half german shepherd - half husky mix puppies. They found homes before we could foster them.

The NorthStar Great Pyrenees Club-Rescue has a standing posting requesting homes to foster Great Pyrs. I contacted them and within a few weeks they told me they wanted to send Marco our way. Marco was in a high-kill shelter in Kentucky. He'd been confiscated with two other dogs from a neglect situation.

You wouldn't know it to look at him, but he's skin and bones under all that fluff.

Gryffyn still isn't too sure what he thinks of Marco. He alternates between playful and "would you leave me alone already!"

I took the both of them to a large local dog park this morning. We had the place to ourselves and Marco trotted along after Gryffyn and I, staying relatively close as he explored and sniffed.

I'm so glad we did this! He is such a cutie-pie with the gray smudge on top of his head, and such a sweet temperament. I predict there will be more cute puppy pictures in the future.

The Butterfly Circus

2010-01-04T15:48:00.001-06:00

Do you need a little hope today?

As I waited for the cold medicine to kick in enough to let me sleep this afternoon I watched, "The Butterfly Circus." If you have 20 minutes I highly recommend this beautiful production. Just make sure you've got kleenex handy.

The Saturday Evening Blog Post

2010-01-02T11:11:00.000-06:00

I'm participating in my very first blog carnival!

It's time for the Saturday Evening Blog Post again, where Elizabeth Esther invites other bloggers to submit their favorite posts from their own blogs -- usually it's from the past month, but this time she's asking for people's personal favorite posts from all of 2009.

Most of Elizabeth's readers appear to have faith integrated into their posts. I can't wait to delve into all the links, to gain inspiration from other bloggers. I love that about this community!

I linked to my "Love and Respect - It works for me!" post. Who knows, maybe my work will inspire someone else.

Some days God uses a hammer

2009-12-29T09:55:00.005-06:00

I can be rather dense sometimes. God tries talking to me, and since I haven't been paying very close attention I often miss what he has to say. Then there are nights like tonight where I feel he's given up on the quiet urging and bashes me over the head with what I've been ignoring. I like this method, I get the point much quicker.

I've written much about my efforts to lose weight. Most recently with the Slimgenics program. As with everything I've done so far I've stuck with it for a bit had some success and then ultimately crashed. I've started, stopped, restarted, stopped, restarted again and, between the normal stress of the holidays and additional family stressers and then getting icky sick, once again stopped Slimgenics. I don't like that diet. Yes it works, but it is nasty restrictive and I found myself frequently wishing to skip meals (unhealthy given the calorie restrictions) rather than force myself to eat more of the same bland food.

With the new year approaching I've been debating a bunch whether to return to the diet or not. My weight is unhealthy. My lack of exercise is unhealthy. Unfortunately I don't loathe my appearance enough to suffer through the stupid diet. Also, paying obscene amounts for supplements and mandatory food is bad for my wallet.

So with my thoughts frequently on eating habits tonight, I began browsing through several blogs I normally read. Conversion Diary's most recent post began with her year's journey with food issues. The remark which stood out most to me was, "all my previous weight-loss-based attempts at changing my diet boiled down to exchanging one vice (gluttony) for another (vanity), and that what I really needed to learn was detachment." As much as I understand the health benefits of healthy weight and diet, the glory of the whole thing for me is the pound loss and waist shrinkage. It's gaining recognition that my great effort and sacrifice is noticed by others, "Have you lost weight?" "Wow, you're looking great!"

I spent more time reviewing the further articles linked in her blog. Gaining an understanding of the "food detachment" she mentions. If you're having issues with food I highly recommend taking a peek at what she has to say.

Later I browsed Pastor Eric Dykstra's blog. He too most recently discussed food and exercise. He's vowing for a year not to eat anything until first he has done some form of exercise and fed himself spiritually. Wow, that seems daunting to me. Especially considering how I still suck at being Christian. At the same time I can see the value in making such a commitment.

I noticed my step-mom updated her blog today too and wandered over to see what she had to say. She mentions a conversation with my grandma during a time when she (Barb) was upset with herself. Grandma advised Barb, "to pray to Him that I would be made into the person HE wanted me to be."

Whamo! There it was. "Daughter stop trying to do this yourself. Turn to me and let me help you. Let me shape you into the woman I want you to be."

I really need to focus on a relationship with God first and certainly well before food. I don't know, with my odd work schedule, if I can reasonably commit to time with God and exercise before work, although that sounds ideal. I must do what I can to spend time with Him each day somehow though. That will be my number one New Year's Resolution. Number two is finding a church closer to home that I can go to every week. The 20-30 minute drive, while exhausted after a night shift, out to elk river is frequently daunting enough to convince me to stay home.

If anyone has suggestions for a good daily devotional book or website they enjoy I'd love to hear about it.

Where do I go from here?

2009-12-20T09:23:00.004-06:00

At the beginning of December I had intended to spend the month peppering this blog with happy posts about the Christmas events I was attending.

Last Friday, the 11th, Josh and I were out shopping, buying new clothes to attend the Nutcracker. I had remarked to my husband that it felt odd going out while my nephew (only 30 days old) was to undergo a third surgery for his Vein of Gallen Malformation. He'd gotten through the first two surgeries with flying colors and I was confident that he'd be through the third without problems. God was watching over this little boy. He was GOING TO BE FINE.

As we were shopping my sister called. We had cell phone problems and lost the connection. She called back from another phone. She started speaking and then cut out. Or I thought she cut out, then I realized something was seriously wrong and she couldn't get the words out. I told her to take her time, and eventually she informed me that there were complications and the doctors were having trouble getting some bleeding under control. I offered to update the rest of the family for her, my mom was with her already. I don't do comforting well. You would think that as a nurse I'd be primo at comforting, I suck at it. And I felt that suckage so strongly as I did my best to be strong for my sister and try to help from so far away. Driving home with Josh I was torn. It felt wrong to go to the ballet. At the same time I couldn't DO anything down in Rochester. Is it right for me to go out when my sister is hurting like this? There was too little time to change the plans, and feeling lost (having never been in this sort of surreal situation) I just followed the plan... we went to the ballet.

It was lovely. The dancers were flawless and so in sync. We had wonderful seats in a beautifully restored old downtown theater with clouds on the ceiling and gilt images on the walls. At intermission I turned my phone back on, distracted I forgot to turn it off and as the lights went back down I set it to silent. During the finale my phone started vibrating. About the right time for work to call and see if I'd be willing to pick up a shift. The phone stopped vibrating and then immediately started back up again, I felt my stomach drop.

After the show I peeked, my sister had called, twice, and hadn't left a message. If it were good news she would have left a message. Once we were in the car I called her back, 30 minutes had already passed and I didn't want to call her so very late. He didn't survive his third surgery.

I ached for my sister and Chris and what they were going through. I couldn't imagine the pain of losing a child.

The Christmas gathering at my dad's the next day was an odd event. A mixture of cheer and smiles with moments of sorrow.

They held the visitation for my nephew on Friday the 18th, the night of Fezziwig's Feast. I found out about the funeral arrangements when my grandma called to let me know she wouldn't be able to go on the Christmas lights tour with us on Saturday because of the funeral. Shortly after my step-mom called to ask what my plans were for the weekend. I hadn't even had a chance to process it, I was weeping again for their loss, a funeral seeming so final, torn again about tickets we'd never be able to cancel, how much I'd originally been looking forward to going to this event and having a nice time with friends I all too rarely get to see, and hating myself for even considering going to the dinner. Knowing not to make decisions when I am so emotional I decided not to decide. Speaking with my mom later she assured me that Mindi would want me to go. I talked to Mindi on Thursday (I think) she told me that she had heard from Mom that I didn't know what to do and she wanted me to go, that having me there on Saturday was OK. She sounded like she was doing well. If you go back through her blog postings you can see the amazing strength she's had through this trial.

I did my best to enjoy myself at the feast. It really was delightful to spend time with Alan and Renee again. I know I wasn't my usual perky self. I don't know how to rate the event as I attended under a personal cloud. It was an enjoyable evening, the children dressed in Dicken's costume were too cute for words. Fezziwig stopped by our table to greet us. The flow of the evening, food courses interspersed with the tale of a Christmas Carol, seemed well paced.

We went to the funeral on Saturday. Josh and I rode down with Dad and Barb (my awesome step-mom). I haven't really had time to process that whole event. Dad did a lovely job speaking at the service. This tragedy has touched so many hearts. I had to avoid looking around too much as the sight of so many people trying not to cry made me want to cry all the harder. Occasional sniffles were heard throughout the service until the end when they played a slide show of Garrett being held and adored by many family members played to the song "Held" and I lost it. The oh so calm pastor lost it a bit introducing the video as well, he knew what was coming.

It's a good thing blotchy is a good look for me.

Crying is cathartic. Sharing this pain is cathartic, and I apologize if any reader was sucked in expecting the usual cheery post from me. That's not what this is today.

There are more family gatherings to attend Christmas eve and Christmas day. I don't know that I'll be writing those up. This post is ultimately my wrap up to BCE2. There's a very long winter ahead. I'll be back with the new year, and back to more upbeat posts (hopefully).

Love and Respect - It works for me!

2009-12-06T11:09:00.009-06:00

About seven years ago I was first introduced to the "Love and Respect" concept while visiting another church. Dr. Emerson Eggerichs spoke on his revelations regarding Ephesians 5:33 which says, "Men love your wives, women respect your husbands." He wondered upon reading it, "Why aren't women told to love their husbands? Or men told to respect their wives?"

Women know how to speak love. We love love. We crave love. We want to fall in love, be loved, share our love.

Men speak respect. Men crave respect. Men would rather be alone and unloved, than surrounded by people who don't respect them.

This doesn't mean that women don't need respect, or men love, but it's not their main drives. It's not the big motivator. His sermon was very enlightening and offered new insights to male-female relationships I hadn't heard before.

So when I found the book, "Love and Respect" a few years ago I had to pick it up. I thought (and still believe) that I have a pretty awesome marriage. I also know that marriage takes work and it never hurts to arm yourself with more knowledge to make it even better. As much as it may make some readers groan, I want to be the best wife I can be. My husband is awesome, he deserves awesome back.

Dr. Eggerichs says that you can either be on the crazy cycle or the energizing cycle. Here's how the crazy cycle works. She's disrespectful (ie makes a snide comment about him, criticises him in front of his friends, calls him names... And I'm starting on the female side because I can speak to it better, not because the men don't start the crazy too), her disrespect causes him to withdraw from her, she feels less loved and in her hurt lashes out again, he becomes colder, she feels more hurt and on and on.

The energizing cycle looks a bit different. She treats him with respect (instead of nagging she asks politely, let's him know why she's proud of him) he feels respected and is motivated to show her love, feeling loved she is motivated to continue treating him with respect and on and on.

At any point either party has the power to switch gears, to change the cycle. What I love about this book is the insight it provides in the languages of love and respect. Half the book is geared towards men and how they can show their wives love. Half the book is geared towards women and how they can show their men respect.

Josh loves me and understood that it was important to me that he read the book too. We had some great dialog. Understanding that he desires respect I was able to know to ask, "What can I do to make you feel more respected? What do I do that shows you disrespect?" Having read the book he was able to point to items that he felt had merit, and those that weren't relevant to him. I was able to indicate the items in the book that made me feel loved.
He helped me become more aware of the actions I took that caused him to feel disrespected.

In addition, I learned a new way of speaking to him what I craved. He understands how important it is to me to feel loved. When he does something sweet, I express my appreciation (respect) and I also let him know that those specific sweet actions make me feel loved. It gives him more tools to show me love, and as I feel loved I want to treat him with more respect. You get where this is going right?

Allow me to highlight this awesome cycle from yesterday's real life example.

A while ago we had a cold snap. Our car's gas pedal acted a bit sticky on the initial acceleration from a stop. I mentioned it to Josh, but the snap passed and function returned to normal. Well with December's cold temps the pedal is acting funny again, you can't ease into an acceleration from a stop (kind of scary when you are parrallel parked). I hadn't been sleeping well, so when I brought it to Josh's attention (because I want car repair stuff to be his job) and he indicated he'd noticed it too, my first reaction was to get mad. Tired and grumpy my selfish nature railed, "I told him ages ago! If he knew about it why didn't he fix it!?!? Do I have to take care of EVERYTHING?!?!" Essentially I blew it out of proportion. I also took a deep breath, let it go, and instead politely asked him to fix it and explained how it was a little scary for me to drive like that.

So, yesterday, when life got rough (ironically I ended up getting rear ended at a stoplight instead of doing the running into), I got even less sleep, and I became extremly frustrated with a money issue, he was there to love me and make me feel better. I know from the past, that if I had lashed out about the gas pedal the day before, he might not have been so available to me, he might not have gone that extra mile to care for me. As it was, he wasn't home yesterday. We texted back and forth a bit and as my messges became more upset ("Today officially SUCKS!") he realized I needed more than a text. He took a break from his time with friends and called me, he reassured me, he made me feel loved and let me know it would all work out. He gave me what I needed. Upon waking for work (after too little sleep once again) he was home to comfort me. He rubbed my back, helped me pack food for work and warmed the car up for me. I feel adored. I also feel motivated to be an even better wife.

He's become quite the kick-ass husband! He tells me I'm pretty darn good too. This love and respect stuff works. We still hit the crazy cycle here and there, but we both know how to overcome it now.

~Michelle~

*** *** *** *** ***
I highly recommend this book for:
Spouses in a good relationship who want a better one.
Spouses in a rough relationship who are willing to change to make it better.

I do not recommend this book for:
Man hating, man blaming, feminists. Trust me, I've read some of their reviews, it won't fit your philosophy.
People who get frustrated with redundancy who don't like to skim. The author desires that the reader REALLY understand the importance of the book, so the first part is quite repetitive.

For women interested in, "Love and Respect," you may also enjoy Dr. Laura's "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." I've always been a big fan of Dr. Laura who places the power to change our relationships, our marriages in women's hands. We aren't victim to the whims of our husband's ways. We don't have to fight to make them change and become what we want them to be. Her book ultimately outlines many ways that women can show their men respect. She doesn't highlight these elements with the love and respect model, but the gist is there. Likewise, if you've read "Love and Respect" you will likely enjoy, "Proper Care and Feeding" as well.

For men interested in, "Love and Respect," you may also enjoy, "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Actually, I know women who like this book too. Then again, it speaks to our desire to feel loved so no wonder we like it. At any rate men, if you discover your lady's love language you'll have more tools to motivate her to treat you with respect.

Best Christmas EVER! Season 2 - The game plan

2009-12-04T09:18:00.002-06:00

If you missed the first installments they can be found here: part 1 and part 2

After such an amazing Christmas last year I've been looking forward to this year's Best Christmas Ever! with even greater anticipation.

I intend to write my thoughts on each event after they happen this year. So, for now, here's a calendar of what we have in the works:

*Dec. 11th- Moscow Ballet's Great Russian Nutcracker
*Dec. 12th - family gathering with Dad.
*Dec. 19th - Metro Connection's Christmas lights tour
*Dec. 20th - Fezziwig's Feast. This is a dinner and show put on by the same group who does "Tony and Tina's Wedding." Bonus, I scored $20 off each tickets during the post Thanksgiving shopping hoopla.
*Dec. 24th - family gathering with Mom
*Dec. 25th - family gathering with the in-laws

There are a few other events currently unplanned, but on my wish list:

*Christmas church service (not necessarily at our church).
*December 20th - Saint Paul City Ballet's "The Enchanted Toy Shop" I have no idea about the quality of this company, but I like the $25 price tag.
*IBEW Lights in the Park at Phalen Park in St. Paul. This is a drive-thru light display.
*Visit theAlexander Ramsey House for minimally a Victorian Christmas tour. I'm also interested in some of the classes they have available and the carriage rides through the park.
*Folkways of the Holidays at Murphy's Landing. Murphy's landing has historical homes from various countries. During this Christmas event, characters in clothing of the time and culture show us a peek at how their country celebrates Christmas. The homes are also decorated culturally for the holiday!
*Ice skating at Centennial Lakes - this skating park is absolutely charming!
*Sleigh ride or Christmas carriage ride.

Some of these items are available for more than the Christmas season (ie ice skating and sleigh/hay rides) so hopefully we'll do them sometime this winter if not this December!

Do you have any Christmas traditions? Any special events you think I'd enjoy? Please feel free to share! I'm always on the lookout for new winter and Christmas adventures.

I hope you'll be able to use some of my ideas to have your own BCE this year!

Merry Christmas!

Best Christmas EVER! Season 2 (Part Two)

2009-12-03T08:12:00.000-06:00

If you missed BCE Part 1 you can read the background here.

With firm resolution in place Josh and I struck out to have The Best Christmas Ever!

Amidst the dental drama (suffering an abscessed front tooth) I had the opportunity to page through one of the Minnesota focused magazines while waiting in the dentist office. There I stumbled upon Metro Connections, a company offering Christmas light tours. I researched a bit more at home. There are limo companies that offer these services as well, but with the oh, $300 price tag, it was not a posibility. Although I do admit to contemplating how many people could fit into said limo, and price per person, and could I find a group of friends or family who would enjoy the time together and find a limo ride to see all the beautiful lights something worth a bit of expense. Given the late notice, not to mention massive amounts of schedule coordinating, the $28-30 per person coach bus fare seemed more than reasonable.

The tour leaves from the Mall of America. Josh and I dressed up a bit and enjoyed a fancy dinner at Twin City Grill. The coach bus for the tour was warm and spacious. As we drove the highways to get to the neighborhoods our guide offered us Christmas trivia. I delighted in all the sparkly decorations! I saw lighting elements that were brand new to me. Some of them were terribly clever, like the home that transformed their garage into a giant fireplace, with Christmas light stockings hanging above. Some of them were clever but bizzarre, like the home that hung the candy cane light elements, designed to line a drive or walk, up in their trees. Some families go ALL OUT! There was a home with a Mrs. Clause in costume on the front porch waving as we went past. At another location, elves and the Grinch came on the bus to hand out candy canes.

As we hit the freeway to return to the mall, with full tummy and contentment overall I dozed on my husbands shoulder. This is an adventure we will be repeating again!

I don't remember how I was struck with the notion to attend Ballet Minnesota's The Nutcracker Ballet. I am a huge fan of the show "So You Think You Can Dance." I am amazed at the strength, flexibility, and mastery dancers have over their bodies. This was my first time attending a ballet. I loved the familiarity of the music (picked up from bits and pieces over the years), the elaborate costumes, the story unfolding before me, and the graceful movements of the dancers. I don't know nearly enough about ballet to judge it technically, but I adored the performance.

After the ballet Josh took me to Moscow on the Hill for dinner. Russians know warm comfort food! I always enjoy the food there. I also love overhearing the conversations taking place in Russian. I don't understand a word of it, but it sure adds to the atmosphere. Moscow on the Hill also serves the absolute BEST chocolate mousse! Add a glass of port and you have yourself one of the greatest ends to a great Christmas night out.

One day, early in December I came home so bummed out. I don't remember what was bothering me, but I do remember Josh rubbing my shoulders and taking care of me, trying to make me feel better (because he is just so awesome like that!). Feeling a smidge better, though still a bit mopey, I sat down at the computer to sort the mail and pay bills. Because bill paying always cheers me up (yes, I am being sarcastic). As Josh sat next to me, I tossed aside a postcard advertisement for North Heights Lutheran Church Christmas play, "The Christmas Window." North Heights goes all out in their productions. I didn't even bother to ask Josh about attending this one, thinking, "Josh has already agreed to the ballet, and tour, AND attending church on Christmas, no way he's going for another Christmas play at church." I have a trophy-husband though who loves me very much. As I moped through the mail and bills he snatched that flyer, determined it was something I'd enjoy, and HE asked ME if I wanted to go! Then, shockers of all shockers, when I said yes, he hopped on his computer (yes, right that second), found the event and ordered the tickets! My day perked up considerably after that sort of loving attention and I began to get excited for another Christmasy event.

Before attending "The Christmas Window," we had dinner at Carmelo's. Carmelo's is by far my favorite Italian restaurant. You can taste that the pasta is made fresh. The restaurant is small and intimate with candles on the table. I love the food, and the people watching. It's so easy to peek in at families gathering together, couples on dates, and such. As we ate our meal we saw a group of four arrive in Victorian costumes. I wondered if they were part of a local play or were out caroling or what other sort of activities might have led them to such clothing.

After dinner we went to the play. True to North Heights fashion, the production had seemingly hundreds of people on cast. The entire front of the church was decked out in stage sets. The play had ice skaters, aerialists, lots of music and children. Completely unrelated to the plot, but my favorite part of the play, was one little boy in particular. At one point the cast was singing/performing, "Be Our Guest" from "Beauty and the Beast." The children were dressed as butlers and walked in rows down the middle aisle of the church and back again along the sides. They were lined up by height, tallest to shortest. As they passed our seats, and the children got younger and younger, I saw at the tail end, this little boy. He must have been just old enough to follow directions. He kept his left arm bent in front of him with the white dish cloth draped over it, right arm bent behind him, just like all the other little butlers. He also took about twice as many steps as the child in front of him as he worked to keep up with those ahead. He was SO adoreable!

Josh and I made it to church for Christmas service for the first time ever. The service was beautiful and fun as well. It meant so much to me to wrap up all of our Christmas revelry with fellow believers focusing on Christ and the gift God gave us when he sent His son so that we could better know Him.

With all of the other events BCE1 would not have been nearly as satisfying if we hadn't also been able to make it to our families gatherings. We don't gather as a family nearly enough. I think in part it's our culture, and in part it's the challenge of coordinating so many different schedules. I love that Christmas gives us not only the opportunity to gather, but the motivation to make it work.

BCE Season 1 rocked! I can't wait to start BCE Season 2!

Stay tuned for more of, "The Best Christmas Ever! (Season Two)."

Best Christmas EVER! Season 2 (Part One)

2009-11-30T09:43:00.003-06:00

Let's start with some background.

Last November, 2008, I told Josh that I wanted the Christmas season to be more magical. I wanted to revel in the holiday and all the glittery, cheery moments it had to offer. The previous few Christmases had come and gone with barely a blip on the radar.

As I mentioned in the Fourth of July post, there are times where the sting of my parents divorce echoes into the present. Christmas is one of those times. As a kid we had the consistency and joy of yearly traditions. We ALWAYS had Christmas Eve at Uncle Skip's house. He'd fix an amazing prime rib, the adults would play pictionary, I'd hang with my cousins. We'd read the nativity story from the Bible and open presents. Back home Mindi and I would sleep on the sleeper sofa in the living room, hoping to catch Santa, and wake to now full stockings and even more colorful packages under the tree. After opening presents and having breakfast it was off to Grandma Rossing's house to see the other side of the family, dine on more good eats and enjoy the warmth of a full house and family.

I still enjoy those memories, but I've had a bit of a time transitioning into Christmas as an adult. As a kid, Christmas was what your parents made for you. As a kid, you just went where your parent's decided. They'd arrange the trip to the Christmas Tree farm, the drives through well-decorated neighborhoods, they handled all the shopping and driving and made arrangements for when to hold gatherings. It helps too that those lovely Christmases are cleansed with the sheen of aged memory.

As an adult you sort of have to figure it out for yourself. I now have to walk the minefield of the giftgiving traps (Are we exchanging presents? Maybe we should draw names? Why did they give gifts when we decided not to give gifts, it makes us look bad). Christmas delights don't plan themselves and drop into your lap like they did as a kid. I ached from the lack of Christmas traditions, and the comfort of walking through familiar routines in this time of celebration.

I don't even remember the specifics of Christmas 2007. I have a vague memory of Josh trying to cheer me up, taking me around to try and find Christmas lights in really crappy snowy weather, following a family gathering. He looked confused by my tears after what had been a wonderful, and enjoyable gathering, and I couldn't voice where they were coming from. I just remember this lingering sense of... of... disappointment? That's not quite it. A sense that I was craving something I couldn't quite name, or expecting something, and it wasn't there.

I had my own family now. My own home. My own place for stability and tradition. I'd decorated for Christmas. Those desires the little girl in me remembered were simply not fulfilled. I'd had a wonderful time, gathering with my family, but something was missing. Christmas just wasn't quite as sparkly as it was when I was a kid.

Which is why, last year, Christmas 2008, I resolved to have "The Best Christmas EVER!" Because, that kid inside, now has this outer adult who needs to step up to the plate to create new traditions and put the sparkle back on this amazing season where we get to celebrate the birth of our Jesus Christ and revel in time spent with friends and family. I didn't blog much regarding my expectations, because I wasn't sure how the endeavor would pan out. It turned out to be everything I wanted and MORE! I didn't follow up with posts about the amazing things we were doing either, because I just wanted to enjoy it, savor it, let it all melt in. I gave that inner girl child what she was looking for, healed old wounds, and am now seriously PSYCHED for "BCE Season 2!"

Stay tuned for more of "The Best Christmas EVER!"

Christmas is coming!!!

2009-11-28T09:24:00.002-06:00

Driving home with Josh early this morning, I was delighting in the Christmas lights some have already put up and left on all night. We passed one home in particular with a roofed-in front porch and victorian gingerbread trim. They'd laced the edges with white light icicles and dripped 8-10 white light globes from the awning at various heights. It looked like something out of a Dicken's story.

"Oh, that's so pretty."

"I don't know. It seems too soon after Thanksgiving, too early for lights. It's like breaking up with one girl and dating another the next day. No mourning period."

"No, it's like the pre-game show for football. It gets you AMPED UP for the game!"

Laughing, "Since when did you start using sports analogies?"

"Since I'm pretty sure I'm using this one correctly."

There's nothing quite like

2009-11-22T17:53:00.003-06:00

There's nothing quite like puking your guts out to make you wish you'd done a better job keeping the toilet clean.

I will be so grateful to discover the source of this incessant nausea.

Perspective is Everything

2009-11-13T08:19:00.002-06:00

I have a few pairs of fat jeans. The REALLY fat jeans I bought at my heaviest and my not quite as fat, fat jeans.

I remember when I bought the less fat jeans. I felt HUGE when I bought those jeans. And after several years of diet and exercise and failure I wound up at my heaviest of 196. UGH. New pair of fat FAT jeans.

Imagine how excited I was when the less fat jeans fit again! On the way up buying those jeans made me feel big. On the way down, I'm feeling pretty foxy!

So, the diet is FINALLY working! To get you all caught up, I had oral surgery on September 14th. I was miserable. The fake tooth that goes over the implant (i.e. crown) was loose in my mouth for the first week. I was afraid it was going to fall out, and the night before seeing the dentist again my fears were realized. The oral surgeon had told me that I wasn't allowed to bite into anything for 3 months, which itself is a huge hassle. Have you ever thought about how many foods are foods you pick up and bite into? Let's see, pizza, hamburgers, hotdogs, sandwiches, cookies, chips, apples, granola bars, and on and on. Suddenly eating became another chore.

So, with the endorsement of my oral surgeon, I spent the next month surviving on pasta and ice cream (and the occasional slice of pizza cut into pieces). It was heaven!

Surprisingly, I only gained back the original 6 pounds I lost.

The lovely ladies at Slimgenics (formerly Slim 4 Life) called every week to see how I was doing and ask when I was coming back to see them and work on the weight loss.

After about a month of gluttonous behavior I gathered myself up and started the diet *again.* I expected that like last time I would struggle to lose even a pound. I expected that it would turn me back into a stressed out, crazed banshee. I expected to be miserable.

My fears haven't come to fruition! In fact I feel fabulous! I've lost 14 pounds now! FOURTEEN! That's 2-3 pounds per week. I'm so excited! Not only have I been loosing the weight, but I'm emotionally doing well too. No more crazy chick. OK, well maybe just a little crazy, but it's baseline crazy, not overly crazy.

I was feeling a little too good last week, and I may have cheated with pizza and cheesy bread and full sugar cola. Weight loss slowed a bit. Motivation waned. Then my mom-in-law stopped by with some items of ours including a small photo album I'd forgotten about. There were a couple of pictures of Josh and I when we were first dating. Photos from before the less fat FAT pants. I don't remember being skinnier. But I like the looks of it! I think I found my motivation.

Start Staying Warm Now

2009-11-07T08:01:00.005-06:00

Cold starts in the fall here in Minnesota. Not with the same nasty vindictiveness it asserts in the winter, but with the occasional sharp chill. It's like a younger sibling, index finger extended in front of your face, taunting, "I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you." And we as older children dutifully ignore it all fall, until winter arrives and "Oops I touched you" and we go stark raving mad, ranting about how DREADFUL the cold is and, "Why didn't we move to Florida when we had the chance" and, "I don't know how much longer I can take this darn cold!" "Winter SUCKS!!!"

My policy: start staying warm NOW. Defeat the annoyance that is, "I'm not touching you, neener neener neener!"

Here are a few of my favorite stay warm items:

First, my silk scarf. So soft, so smooth, so sweet against my skin. Also, so light weight and yet so warm. Silk is a wonderful insulator. I believe I purchased mine from Nahari once upon a time.

I love the vibrant color, and given the width and length it's so easy to double up. I'm also inclined to spread the tails out over my chest, under whatever jacket or warm-up I'm wearing to add a bit of coverage there as well.

How I could have lived through so many years of driving in Minnesota, and not been aware of the awesome windshield sprays which combat frost and ice is beyond me. Hey MINNESOTANS! Did you know you DON'T have to spend 20 minutes scraping your car in the morning??? If you do, why didn't you tell me sooner??? When I'm done with work, I like to *leave* work. I do not like to spend *forever* standing around in the parking lot, freezing my tushy off scrape, scrape, scraping my windows. Here again the taunting, "neener neener neener" as the frost is too thin to scrape, yet too thick to see through. One of my greater annoyances. Know what I have now though?
Prestone Ice and Frost Shield! I spray this on the windshield at night and, while frost does accumulate, it doesn't stick! That's right, no scraping for me. Two swipes of the large squeegee end of my scraper and I'm cruising out of the parking lot! I've had the chance to test out this spray already this fall and it works wonders. I also noted that there are other sprays in the automotive isle at Walmart which are for use after ice lands on your windshield. Should this current spray not hold up I will give these a try. Also, until we have the consistent frost inducing colds I won't be spraying my side windows, the one downside to the spray is that it stays put if there's no frost. I suppose I could squeegee it off in the morning anyways, but I'm more inclined to just leave it there. Oops.

Next up, sheepskin steering wheel covers! I adore mine. When we are on the verge of cold, not quite cold enough to pull out the mittens, it is still cold enough for the steering wheel to turn into an ice cube. When I didn't have the cover I was often pulling my sleeves down to handle the wheel, and/or just touching it as little as possible. Not the safest way to drive when you'd also barely scraped through enough frost to see out the front window and took off before the defogger could do a proper job. Now, no problem, cold does not get through these babies! I've tried other "thermal" covers, don't waste your money. They're impossible to get on the wheel and don't work as well. Bonus, come summer when the car is scalding hot, the steering wheel is just as manageable because the burning hot wheel doesn't get through either! I haven't used this company, but here you can see images of the device I'm talking about. You can also find this item occasionally at Walmart, or I've also seen them in automotive stores like Napa, or PepBoys.

Offices (and hospitals) are already bordering on the too cool. Most places seem reluctant to turn the heat on quite yet. Working while freezing does little for my sweet disposition. Flashing back to the 80's I'm going for the LEG WARMERS! You may not think that covering the bottom half of your leg and ankle will do much to increase your comfort, but trust me, they help. I started doing this two years ago, and had to go the sock store at the Mall of America just to find the two pair that I bought and wore. This year, Sears is carrying some in their store! Given the boot cut jeans I normally wear, or the ever so warm and loose scrubs (scrubs, by the way, very useless in fighting cold) leg warmers fit easily under both. On occasional I'll also wear these just to get to, or leave work, for the chilly bits between car and building since scurbs, as mentioned, are useless in the cold. I'm fairly confident that if I were working in an office and freezing to death, I'd still be wearing my leg warmers.

OK, I could go on a tangent about so many lovely items; My electric blanket, which I turn on to super hot 30-60 minutes before bed so it's nice and toasty when I go to sleep; My Cuddl Duds silky soft long underwear, so thin and easy to wear under anything (I've seen them at Sears and JC Penny if you want to shop locally); My sheepskin slippers, with a rubber sole so my feet stay warm, even if I step out to grab the mail; but I think this post has become long enough as it is.

If you have any lovely, stay warm items that you adore, please share! I love hearing new ways to stay toasty warm!

I'm Telling The Internet

2009-10-28T10:37:00.002-05:00

My husband cracks me up!

I'm watching a TIVO'd episode of "So You Think You Can Dance" with Josh this morning. Four of the contemporary dancers are performing this piece to, "Viva La Vida"...

About halfway through, as they are performing amazing kicks, jumping to do splits in midair, my wonderful husband comments, "I wonder how you go from discovering that you're good at kicking, to deciding to become a ballerina rather than a kung-foo master."

I didn't see the rest of the routine. Good thing for rewind capabilities. Muahahaha!!!!

Well Rested At Last

2009-09-12T09:59:00.002-05:00

Josh tucked me in to bed yesterday at 5 pm. Some will think this is an early time to be going to bed, unless you've worked graveyard shifts in the past and realize that this is actually a very LATE time to be going to bed. I had the night off so I was going wild and staying up super late to enjoy some day-walker hours with my hubby watching TV.

I asked Josh to set the alarm for me for 10am, you know, just in case. He laughed at me and said, "Yeah, just in case you manage to sleep for 17 hours straight." He humored me though and set the alarm. I sleep better knowing that I won't over sleep, and yes, 17 hours is ambitious.

I only slept for 15 hours straight. Thank you very much!

Today the world is full of rainbows and sunshine. I love sleep. Sigh...

CAUTION Crazy Chick In Residence

2009-08-31T01:50:00.003-05:00

I briefly mentioned a new diet in my last blog. Officially 4 weeks ago today I joined Slim4Life with promises from them of massive amounts of weight loss in a relatively short period of time. 3-5 pounds a week and down to 130 by Christmas. It is a good, nutritionally sound program which my body has completely rejected in many, many ways. First of all, 3 pounds in one week has NOT happened. I haven't even lost 2 pounds in any one given week! I was about due for a yearly physical anyway, so I'm having my thyroid checked to see if that's slowing my stupid metabolism down any (should have results by Tuesday). The women at the S4L center have also told me that they think that my working night shifts may be partly responsible for the slow loss, I think they're probably right.

In the meantime, I have not had anything to eat in the realm of pizza, pasta, pastries or ice cream. My favorite four food groups! I have actually had dreams that I am seriously chowing down on some deliciously tasty treats when I realize that the S4L ladies will hold me accountable and I'll have to fess up in my food diary that I have totally blown it! But mmmmm were those dreams tasty!

On the plus side, I am losing *some* weight (down 6 pounds so far), and I appreciate the accountability and support from the Slim4Life staff. Also, I know that eating this food is considerably healthier for me than my previous eating habits.

On the down side, I have turned into a total lunatic. It's PMS time 24/7. I had absolutely no idea I was self medicating for stress with food. My main coping mechanism was junk food and I kept a steady stream in my system to cope. Although, it doesn't help that my external stressors have increased considerably what with the job changes and all (and an upcoming annual performance eval at my otherwise most favorite and low-stress job). I feel like I should be wearing a sign "CAUTION emotional responses may not be relative to external stimuli." At least with PMS I *know* which 3 days I am exempt from making any decisions or confronting anyone or planning on doing anything that may have me shrieking like a crazed banshee at poor unsuspecting strangers. I know on those 3 days that chances are good my emotional responses are not even remotely based in reality.

It's sort of like when I go to the dentist these days. And I've been going A LOT since last November when my front tooth abscessed and I began the long process of losing a tooth, dealing with a fake, getting a root-canal on another tooth that was discovered to be dead, and soon an implant for the lost tooth. It's been such a rough road that simply talking to the dentist, while sitting in the chair, discussing what's to be done later has me FREAKING OUT! They aren't even doing anything but looking in my mouth and my pulse starts racing and I start panicking and all I want to do is RACE for the door as fast as I can. Imagine what happens when they actually do work?!?!? Is this a rational response? No. No, it's not. And I *know* it's irrational and I *still* freak out!

So now, with the lack of junk food and the increase in stress, and the inability to even rationalize the struggle with it being totally worth it because I am loosing 3 pounds a week (because it's nowhere NEAR 3 pounds) I have turned into a total crazy person. My poor husband has been AWESOME in his support. Josh I love you, thanks for putting up with me. I am so appreciative of his forgiving nature (and I've had to ask for forgiveness frequently with my sporadic bursts of freaking-out-ness). It'll get better. I'm sure I'll adjust to this bizarre nutrition soon. And if not, well, if not you'll find me at the nearest Dairy Queen doping up on a turtle pecan blizzard.

Hitting the drive through

2009-08-06T08:26:00.002-05:00

Last night I fixed dinner for Josh and I... I hit the drive through window at Hardee's.

I'm back to trying to eat healthy, which sounds like a bit of a contradiction, but the new plan is OK with a plain hamburger patty as an occasional treat. As I'd been eating more than my fair share of lean protein sources I was looking forward to this indulgence.

I brought Gryffyn along since he goes CaRaZzzzzy for car rides!

I pulled up, ordered Josh his yummy meal and requested another burger "super plain please."

I pull up to the window with Gryffyn's nose out the back window. The cashier greets me, "Oh, what a nice treat for your dog! I like to spoil mine too."

The cashier thought the plain burger was for Gryffyn. What was I going to say, "No, my butt has simply become so large that I've opted out of the cheesy, mushroom saucy goodness. That dog, he's not gettin' nuthin!" So I didn't exactly say that it wasn't for him, just sort of nodded along, chatted about his breed and cashier lady's dog, and aren't they just so sweet.

When she handed me my food she informed me, "I put his burger on top."

Oh the guilt! So, not only am I feeling guilty because I'm getting a plain burger because of my rapidly expanding waistline, but I'm a bad dog-mom! I'm not getting my poor pooch $3 burger-treat goodness! And to top it off I lied in letting the cashier believe I was indulging my dog!

Triple shot of guilt in a 2 minute drive through visit. Guess that's one more reason to skip the fast-food naughtiness.

:D

I Suck at Being a Christian

2009-07-30T09:45:00.003-05:00

Another night on the laid back mental health floor last night. I spent most of my night over at Conversion Diary working my way through her archives. My totally awesome, long-distant, Christian friend, Elise, had posted a link on Facebook to one of CD's posts and I was instantly hooked.

Conversion Diary is a blog written by a woman who spent most of her life as an atheist, turning to Catholicism about 5 years ago. I never realized that the Catholic faith could bring about such a personal relationship with God, it boggles my Protestant mind! Needless to say, several of my former biases against this particular flavor of Christianity have been obliterated and I have a much better understanding towards those who prefer to practice their faith through the Catholic tenants. I still disagree with some of those principles, but I'm happy to know that there is life in Catholicism as well.

Anyways, there I go rambling again. What reading this blog has further shown me though is that I suck at being a Christian. I take my faith for granted. I am lazy, pure and simple.

I grew up in a Christian household. Believing in Christianity is as easy as believing in gravity for me. It's just always been true. I've seen God at work in my life, I've had conversations with him, he's answered my prayers. But normally when I turn to him it's because I've gotten to the point where I can't do it on my own. I am overly independent by nature and turning to God first is the way I should do things, but frequently NOT the way I do things. If I have a problem, I should fix it, if I can't fix it, then I turn to God. How much easier my life would be if I would turn to God first!

Like I said, I'm a lazy Christian. I know a lot of stuff after 30 years of life as a Christian. I'm very familiar with most of the Bible stories, the parables, the people God used to spread his word and illustrate his desire to get to know us on a personal level, and his desire to be the best Daddy out there! But it's all in my head. I'm not living it.

And I want to live it! I'm hoping that by putting this out there I'll realize that I need to be even more accountable for my actions and words. In the past I've not been bold about my Christianity because I knew that I was not a representation of the best that Christ has to offer. Again, I'm not the best because I'm lazy. I'm not practicing what I believe.

I need to set aside time to pray each day. Praying sort of intimidates the heck out of me. I know it can just be easy conversation, I know there's no right or wrong way to do it. CD describes her fear at free style prayer, thinking it will go something like this, "Hello? Is this thing on? Kidding. Anyway, God, or should I say 'Lord'? Anyway, this is a prayer, in case you didn't know. But you probably did. You know, because you're all-knowing God. WHAT is she wearing? Wait, sorry, got sidetracked there. I guess now I'm going to have to pray about being judgmental during prayer. Where was I?..." I feel much the same way. So, in lieu of praying 'wrong' I end up not praying at all. Unless, as mentioned before, I become desperate.

I think part of the problem with prayer for me is that I have trouble sitting still. My mind wanders. I'll start off praying and the next thing you know I'm outlining the tasks I need to do for the day. This is hardly conducive to a good relationship. Imagine if we went out for coffee and I started talking to you about what's going on in my life and then began rambling about the 3 loads of laundry, the dishes in my sink, and I wonder if anyone's posted something interesting on Facebook... You'd think I was crazy and not really interested in sharing my life with you right?

So first boggle I need to overcome is practicing prayer.

Second, I need to get my butt into church. I've got a kick-ass church to go to, but again my laziness. I could go to the evening service on Saturday, but it interferes with my nap-time before going to work. After work I'm just too tired to stay awake to make the drive to Elk River (I'm not too tired though to continue browsing the internet and watching TV).

OK, so I'm going to make these my baby step goals towards becoming the awesome example I could be to show the world God's love. Goal 1: Start practicing prayer. Goal 2: Get to church.

If anybody has any advice regarding either of these goals I'm happy to hear it! Just clicky click to add a comment!

And while I struggle with this please don't judge me too harshly for being an inadequate Christian. As my old bumper sticker used to say, "Christians aren't perfect... Just forgiven." I thank God that he's willing to put up with my mess ups and keeps giving me another chance.

Bloggity Blog Blog Blog

2009-07-26T08:00:00.003-05:00

So, I got a call from work last night, just before leaving the house. I was expecting to be offered to take on-call for the night, or maybe even end up mandated. I was not prepared to be told that the hospital was over-staffed on the medical floor I should be working for the weekend, and under-staffed on the psych floor. Guess which individual is now cross-trained to both?

So, I'm still struggling with having the right attitude about working psych. All the negatives war in my head with the blessing it really could be to just take it easy for the night, catch up on my leisure reading, and just sit still. I'm not very good at sitting still.

At any rate, I took the peaceful shift and used the opportunity to work on my blog. There is so much to learn about things like HTML, photoshop, banners, borders, columns, color-schemes. I'm fairly proud of the changes I've managed to make. Check them out!

I now have 3 columns instead of 2, which looks more balanced to my eye. I've changed the background into this pretty thing, replacing the pepto-bismol pink. I also added this handy little tool in the upper right there so that you can subscribe to have new posts emailed to you. That's right, no more checking back to see if I've updated yet! Get my musings sent directly to you!

There are a few other changes I'd like to make which will require a bit more learning and creativity on my part.

First, I'd like to create some sort of banner for the blog title. The Cutest Blog on the Block has quite a few, but none to match this particular background. I love the background that I chose, which I also got from them, but I'd like a banner to go with it. Even if it's a simple block banner with just a few loopy bits.

I'd love to learn photoshop, or whatever similar program is optimized for apple computers. That however will likely be a much longer process and I don't imagine we'll see any results from that endeavor any time soon. TCBOTB website has a tutorial for creating your own backgrounds. I think it would be fun to see if I could manage this more visual creative aspect of the blog. I think I'd need to find some sort of class though. Looking at what others have created I'm overwhelmed. Maybe it really is easy though once you learn the program.

I'm not sure what to do with the title of my blog. Part of me likes it, even though this isn't really a weight loss blog anymore. I think it's a bit of a silly exclamation and it makes me smile. I can sort of envision the title in a cool banner with the o's in "COOKIE" as cookies with a bite missing from one of them. On the other hand, I wonder if people see the title of the blog and think, "Oh....Kay.... I don't get it." Maybe it's only funny to me. Maybe I should change it.

I also don't know what to call myself here. The "About Me" section has had me listed as "Leyla" "Michelle 'Shelli' Dabrowski" and I've at times tried working in my maiden name as well in case anyone from the past should try finding me. I don't mind posting in my real name, I'm not hiding from anyone. Heck, the RSS feed from this blog runs into my facebook so coworkers are more than capable of finding their way here as well. I also rather like having a bit of a nom de plume, and I like the name Leyla.

So, let me know what you think of the changes! Go sign up for email updates. Offer suggestions on the keeping or changing of the name of the blog and whether I should keep the nom de plume here at the blog. Leave some love in the comments!

Excited About Trash Bins!

2009-07-11T11:06:00.006-05:00

I went to check out Anoka's Riverfest this morning. I used to get to so many more art fairs in the summer, back before night shifts and working weekends, oh so long ago. I wasn't expecting too much from this tiny town, but it was close, and I was awake, so I decided to take a peek.

They had all the typical art fair stuff, pottery, painting, jewelry, and the like. There was a booth with cute ceramic flying pig bird houses. There were tie die clothes, and painted silk scarves. A couple of vendors selling rag floor mats. And so on and so on.

As I walked down the street I glanced at the booths across from me. Could that be what I think it is? I'd been keeping an eye out for this little gem for the past few years and had yet to see one. Wandering over I discovered it was true! Trash bins! The beautiful trash bins I last saw about six years ago!

So you're probably thinking, "Trash bins? What's the big deal about trash bins?"

You're probably picturing your "normal" trash bins. Such as the ones that used to grace my kitchen. These ugly old things:

Ah, but these new bins are soooo much more. Check it out!

Aren't they pretty? Not only are the ugly things hidden behind the beautiful cupboards, I have also gained two, count them, TWO drawers! And, extra shelf/counter like space!!! Two drawers and a bit of extra counter space may not sound like much to you, but when you're living in a storage challenged home like we are those two drawers and counter space are worth a small fortune.

Oh look at the space I've gained!

I am so excited!!! I've already had the opportunity to throw a few things away and it was everything I imagined it could be!

I may just have to make it out to a few more fairs after a couple more paychecks. They have several other beautiful side tables that I have to have!

Missing the Old Fourths

2009-07-07T03:33:00.004-05:00

Fourth of July is more depressing than Christmas.

There are certain holidays which have been more clearly affected by my parent's divorce. Part of me is desperate for the old extended family interactions, and part of me just wants to isolate and not deal.

Fourth of July as a kid was AWESOME! Every year we'd head up to Grandma's cabin in Longville, MN. Everyone was there. Grandma, Grandpa, all the aunts, uncles, cousins. It was summer at it's best. We'd get to go to the parade, where they threw candy at us. We'd spend the afternoon in town, getting ice cream at Frosty's the local ice cream shop. They actually carried bubble gum ice cream, with actual bubblegum in it! There were turtle races. Tons and tons of turtle races. We'd pick out our turtles and get a number written in masking tape to put on it's back. I don't recall ever winning, but it was fun none the less. I remember one year they had a ring toss where you had to toss the ring over a two liter of pop and then you'd get to keep the pop. Between all us kids we brought home a trunk load of two liters.

You couldn't beat the fireworks either. We'd go out on the boat, relax with the quiet rocking and watch the show. And when we got home there were more sparklers and illegal fireworks to set off. I still remember those fireworks propped in pop cans taking off and exploding in the sky.

Summers full of watermelon, smore's, water skiing, canoeing, swimming in the bay, sunning at the island, diving off the pontoon, playing cards, watching Wheel of Fortune (Channel 4 being the only station the little TV received), ping pong in the basement, sleeping on bunk beds, putting together puzzles from the library, reading a ton, picking raspberries, going on strawberry hunts (wild strawberries are the best!) taking driving lessons from Uncle Skip (sitting in his lap and steering on the old dirt roads) and generally sucking the marrow out of life.

Damn I wish I were a kid again.

Reaping awesome rewards

2009-07-04T01:21:00.005-05:00

I ended my last post stating that, "I find it amazing how swiftly God can reward the right attitude." Boy does he ever!

*Here's where I go on a long winded pointless rant. Feel free to skip to the last paragraph where I neatly sum up how fabulous things are now!*

Last week I unknowingly worked with a girl whose position I had partially taken in the whole layoff, take other peoples job, let them take other peoples jobs process called rebidding, or "bumping." When I was laid off I had the option to choose from the few open positions in the hospital or to bump someone who was lower senior out of their job and take their position for my own. It's a horrible, horrible thing. At any rate, do to the sheer incompetence of our extortionists, er, I mean union, my rebid was royally bungled. I was given incorrect information. There was an opening on 2W, the medical/surgical unit. It was only 5 shifts per payperiod though, and I needed 7 to avoid losing income. I wanted to work 5 on 2W, and 2 shifts on 5E, the mental health floor. I was told I'd have to work every weekend if I chose to do this, something I wasn't willing to do. Which is how I ended up taking the full assignment on 5E.

When I took this new job I bumped a 5E employee out of 4 of her shifts per payperiod. She then bumped someone else out of 4 shifts on 2W. Now, she had an advocate with her who understood the contract and fought for her the way union reps ought to. She was able to split her job between 2 floors and only work every other weekend. However, she was not happy about working on 2W since she enjoys 5E and wants to stay there.

By a lovely "coincidence" we actually ended up talking last week and I discovered that she was the one I had bumped and that she was working the job I wanted! After working that night on June 25th we went and spoke with human resources. Neither of us were too keen on going to the MNA since they've been more hurt than help in the whole thing. HR informed us that there wasn't anyone between us in seniority who had been affected by the layoffs. They didn't think that it would be a problem, but they had to run it past the bunglers first before they could make the change. By another fortunate "coincidence" HR had an appointment to meet with MNA (the union) that same morning and in fact, MNA was in meeting at that time to prep for seeing HR. So, not trusting MNA to believe HR (who they view as the all time evil enemy *eyeroll*) we also took the opportunity to meet with MNA so that they could hear it from our mouths that we wanted to trade positions.

Now, I can't tell you how many lies I've been told from the mouths of various MNA officials. Once I found out that you could split an appointment without having to work every weekend I questioned an MNA rep who had been at my rebid meeting and asked why I wasn't given that option. I was told that it didn't matter because I would have been bumped out of that job again later. Clearly this is a lie since the girl who took the job is the one I bumped and is lower senior than me. I was then told that I had been wrong, that I misunderstood, and there were NO positions open for nights on 2W when I had gone to rebid. Again, not true, same reason as before. When we went to speak with MNA the girl I bumped additionally questioned why she had to work the weekend on 2W when she had been told she'd be able to keep her weekend on 5E. She was told that 5E was overstaffed for weekends. When I asked why I was told that I'd have to work every weekend when I rebid, and I was asking this at the same time as my coworker to the same individual, I was told that at the time both floors needed weekend coverage. So, how can 5E be both overstaffed for weekends AND need weekend coverage? They simply do not know their you-know-whats from their elbows these people. OK, so maybe I can tell you how many lies they've told me.

Sigh.

At any rate, I didn't want to post this earlier until I knew for sure that everything was finalized. End result: I now get to work 4 of my 7 shifts on a medical/surgical floor! YAY!!! Only God could work through such a mess to bring about wondrous results. :D I'm excited to be able to do the type of nursing that I love for at least the majority of my schedule. Mental health nursing is not my forte, nor my passion. Fortunately though the staff on that floor are lovely, and the work itself not particularly challenging. I'm a little stressed about having to go through more orientation, and meet another set of coworkers next week. It's more change, and status quo is frequently more comfortable than change. Once I get past it though and am on my own I'm confident it will all be fine. Better than fine actually because I'll have work that I want! As a bonus, I'll be cross trained to 3 different units and now have more options for picking up extra work! Hooray!

I'm Only Going Around This Mountain ONCE

2009-06-23T07:46:00.004-05:00

For those who don't yet know, there have been layoffs at the hospital where I work. Many hospitals are experiencing layoffs right now. Many have also realized they can't get by without the nurses they laid off and quite a few have been called back to their old jobs. I've also heard of situations where nurses were laid off, called back, and then laid off again, all within this year.

At any rate, after an odd process of reorganization I lost my beloved position on the Family Care Unit at Mercy. I lost my position, but thankfully not my job. Now, instead of working on the highly medical/surgical floor, I'm working on the mental health floor.

When I first got my nursing license I was desperate to "never work mental health ever again!" In fact, the only hospital I could score an interview with once I got my license only had an opening for me if I'd work on the mental health floor. I didn't even go to that interview.

I spent the first weekend of my new position crying every time I came home. And a few times before I even went in to work as well. I hated it! Why was this happening to me? THIS SUCKS!!! I was so angry about it, so depressed, so stressed. It was the worst thing ever and on top of everything else I've had to cope with this year (road construction, having my front tooth surgically removed in March, still no front tooth, going to school, working full time, etc) just one thing more than I could possibly handle!

I'm done griping about it all though. The staff are awesome on the mental health floor. Mental health nursing is not my favorite thing and I will move back to my old job just as fast as I possibly can if it opens back up. I've spent a lot more time praying about this whole situation and have been reminded of Joyce Meyer's talk on desert mentalities. She puts it far more elegantly than I'm going to put it here, but essentially here's what she has to say:

When Moses was leading the Israelites out of Egypt, and out of slavery and oppression, it took them 40 years of wandering in the desert to make an eleven day journey. God wanted to bring them to the promised land, but despite the miraculous guidance they were experiencing, despite being fed from the heavens every day, they spent soooo much time bitching and moaning about how they were stuck in this stupid desert, with the stupid sand, and the stupid walking, and wasn't life so much better when the Egyptians were beating them up and enslaving them all! So God was essentially like, "Well fine, if that's you're attitude you can just walk around the mountain again." More bitching and moaning from the Israelites, so he sent them around the big old mountain again! Most of the people who originally left Egypt didn't even live to see the promised land.

Have you ever noticed that the people who complain the most, seem to be the most stuck in the situation they're complaining about?

Well, I've decided that I'm only going to go around the mountain ONCE! I'm adjusting my attitude. God has clearly had his hand on my career up to this point. I've had to overcome many obstacles so far, even simply getting into nursing school required a series of events to occur which were far too involved to chalk up to coincidence. I am confident that there's something for me to learn here. I'm also assured that there's a promised land waiting for me. If you catch me complaining again feel free to smack me.

I find it amazing how swiftly God can reward the right attitude. I'd not long ago come to this realization, and just last night I was treated to a wonderful night working on my old floor. Not only did I get to work there again, which I loved, but I also had an amazing assignment! I was able to do more of the emotional and spiritual care involved in nursing that I enjoy and value so much. Yup, this time I'm only going around once!

It was very traumatic!

2009-05-13T17:28:00.003-05:00

As some of you know I have been dealing with a chronic lack of sleep for the past few weeks thanks to this going on right outside my front door:

As my poor husband will attest, I need 8 hours of sleep to be my bright cheerful self. Only getting 4-5 hours per day leaves me a wee bit on the grouchy side. I'm also quite sure that the construction job bosses think I'm psycho and seriously regret giving me their cards. To my defense this job sucks, the fact that I have to pay $5000 for it even though I don't want it sucks, them crashing about, shaking the house and all the dishes while I'm trying to sleep really, really, really sucks. So when they, oh say, dig giant holes in front of my driveway without bothering to inform me the night before that I won't have access to my driveway, despite numerous phone calls indicating that I need to know the night before so I can make other arrangements for sleeping, well that just right pisses me off!

Ok, sorry, went off on a tangent I didn't intend.

So, what I was saying, haven't been getting much sleep lately...which led to the very traumatic experience last night.

After waking abnormally early *again* and spending a few hours in the office, too tired to be productive (not to mention bored and grumpy), I decided to toss and turn and try to get a nap in before work. The alarm went off...sigh...time for work. I usually spend the first few minutes waking up checking emails, facebook etc. As I drowsily browsed the web this GIGANTIC spider floats around the photos above my computer! The thing was HUGE!!! Now, normally I shriek, run away, and get Josh to squish the thing. Boys are much better at the spider squishing. I hate doing the spider squishing! But Josh was sleeping and I didn't want to wake him. So I very bravely, at great risk to my own life, smushed the monster with a paper towel, ran to the trash and dumped him in. *SHUDDER*

UGH! Whew! Evil spider monster gone I went about my getting ready routine. Face washed, teeth brushed. When the REALLY TRAUMATIC thing happened.

You thought the spider was the traumatic thing didn't you? It wasn't. The spider was awful, but it was nothing compared to the further nasty awaiting me.

I heard Gryffyn whining to come inside so I stumbled off to the kitchen to let him in. In the half dark of the kitchen he takes a few steps through the door and attacks the floor! Shaking his head he drops... it... and runs away. Screaming, I turn on the kitchen light. There's a HUGE bumblebee lying on the floor! Not only is there a nasty lying on the floor, but I am now trapped! There I am, stuck in the corner between the fridge, outside door, and kitchen counter with this thing lying in front of me. Oh, did I mention I'm barefoot and only in a robe. The last thing I needed was to attempt to get around and have this thing fly up under my robe *double shudder.* There was nothing I could grab to hit it with, and I'd already dealt with the very, very scary, floaty, brown spider! I'm exhausted and trapped and started yelling for Josh.

It took me awhile to realize that simply calling his name wasn't getting his attention so I pathetically start wailing "HEEEELLLLLLPPPPPP!"

I don't think he quite understood the severity of the situation. Stumbling from the bedroom, eyes still half shut, he asks, "what?"
"Bbbbb bbbb bbbeeee" I stutter and point to the floor. At which point I swear he rolled his eyes, before grabbing his shoe and giving it a sound thwack. Breathing a sigh of relief I hug my hero and he tells me it's all OK now.

Thank goodness for bug destroying boys. I could have been killed.

Yes, I too am a threat to homeland security.

2009-04-22T00:40:00.002-05:00

I can't believe that this is real. I wish very much that this was not real. Of course you won't be hearing about this missive in the liberally biased media, but this is one of those things that the public needs to be alert to. The Department of Homeland Security has recently released a document targeting what it's calling "Right Wing Extremists." Who are these new terrorists? Essentially everyone who has a differing opinion from the president. All those who believe in Republican platform principles are potential threats to the securtiy of the United States. According to this document you may be a threat if you:

Believe in the right to bear arms (Check)
Believe in restricting the power of government (Check)
Think that the unborn deserve protection (Check)
Fear communist regimes (Check)
Think there's a problem with illegal immigration (Check)
Bemoan the decline of U.S. stature (Check, and might I add the President bowing to the Saudi King and verbalizing gratitude to Marxist thugs for not blaming him for events that occured when he was 3 months old does little to improve our standing in the foreign community)
Are antagonistic toward the new presidential administration (Check)

Let's be honest that's really what this document is about, supressing all who dissent against the current, money grabbing, socialist, sitting in the President's seat. So much for the tolerance the left claims to value so much. *eye roll*

At least the DHS is willing to admit that they have "no specific
information that domestic rightwing terrorists are currently planning acts of violence." They're just concerned because "rightwing extremists may be gaining new recruits by playing on their fears about several emergent issues [as noted above]. The economic downturn and the election of the first African American president present unique drivers for rightwing radicalization and recruitment."

So, are you a threat to homeland security?

If you're interested in keeping on top of current events unfiltered by a pro-democrat media you may want to check out World Net Daily.

I'm addicted

2009-03-07T09:17:00.003-06:00

There's a new happy in my life. :D
HULU

Yes, it is possible to watch most of this seasons' programing on their respective websites, abc.com, nbc.com, cbs etc etc. However, not only is all conveniently located in one spot on this website, but older classics, random unheard of shows, and totally awesome newly addicting shows as well.

The search mechanism is somewhat...well crappy. I suggest going to the top of the page and flat out clicking on TV, and then on the following page choosing the "browse" option (second row from the top). A full list of programing appears and gliding the mouse over the titles will bring up a brief synopsis. Handy when you're looking at titles like, "Exosquad," "PINK The Series" or "Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show." None of which I've watched of course, because they all sound nutty and I've been killing time watching one of the best comedies ever.

Arrested Development!

The link provided will take you to the pilot episode. All 3 seasons available for your viewing pleasure. This show is AWESOME! Starring Jason Bateman and Michael Cera (from "Juno", and "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist"). Josh and I have been spending quite a bit of quality time lately laughing at the awesomeness that is "Arrested Development." It has much of the flavor of "The Office" without the total trainwreck of awkwardness. Although, it does certainly have it's share of groaners.

So far I've also watched (on my own because Josh wouldn't care for it) "Valentine." A show that only survived for four episodes. I liked the premise and would have certainly kept watching. Sadly, I'll never know who poisoned the oracle or whether someone was really going to kill Aphrodite. If you dig fairy tales, or stories about the mythics coming to life you'll probably enjoy the few episodes. Aphrodite, Eros, and Hercules alive on Earth have created Valentine Inc with the purpose of bringing soulmates together. Eros/Cupid uses a gun instead of bow and arrows to incite lust. He reminds me a lot of one of the Boondock Saints. A bit of magic, a bit of love and happy endings, a bit of mystery...I liked the show and am bummed it's no longer running.

On the plus side, have you heard the news? "Cupid" is returning to ABC! I used to LOVE this show. Jeremy Piven played a man who was, or thought he was (we never learned which) Cupid. Zeus got pissed at him and forced him to return to Earth to unite 100 couples without any powers. Naturally he gets sent to the looney bin where he's allowed to leave as long as he is kept under the care of an overly serious female shrink who, if memory serves me, is not too keen on love. The original Cupid aired a good 11 years ago, so memories of exact episodes are quite vague. I do know that I really liked Jeremy Piven as Cupid and I'm not too keen on a replacement. However I'm willing to give it a shot. I can't believe they're bringing back the show. Maybe if it does well they'll release the original on DVD! That'd be awesome!

Who needs a DVR when you have the internet?

The trip planning is complete

2009-03-03T05:38:00.002-06:00

Ever since last March/April when it seemed like winter would NEVER EVER EVER END EVER AGAIN!!!!! GAAAaaarrrr! Josh and I have been talking about going on vacation for this winter.

Trip planning is stressful. There are so many different "get the best deal here" websites. I spent countless hours agonizing over which site had the best hotel in our price range. I really didn't want to stay in the barest, cheapest, roach motel I could find, I wanted to go as upscale as we could afford. I'm hoping the place we found will be as nice as advertised.

Anyways, come March 13th (yes, Josh was kind enough to point out that we are flying out on Friday the 13th, thanks hun) we are heading to Orlando for 2 solid weeks!

The flight is booked, the hotel and car are booked. We've bought our tickets to do Trainer for a Day at Discovery Cove and also picked up 14 day passes for SeaWorld, Busch Gardens, and Aquatica. We have our tickets for Cirque Du Soleil and dinner reservations afterwards on March 17th, my *gasp* 30th birthday!

I'm feeling far more relaxed about it all now that the planning and major purchases are out of the way. Now I just need to find some warmer weather clothing and get to making a packing list. I'll probably browse the internet here and there too before we go to see about other things for us to check out, beaches and such.

Woot! Less than 2 weeks to go before we're off to sunny warm weather! I'm so excited. *SQUEE*

If you watch "The Office"

2009-02-14T18:06:00.005-06:00

...you'll get the joke.

My husband is awesome! What a delightful treat to wake up to. He also picked up desserts from the new Truffles & Tortes shop in Anoka, my favorite!

It's Valentines Day Everybody.

There's nothing quite like

2009-01-11T10:15:00.002-06:00

...dreaming you're being attacked by fire ants while gardening to make you happy to wake up and see a fresh dusting of snow. *shudder*

Happy Fourth Anniversary

2009-01-07T07:05:00.001-06:00

Josh and I have been married four years now. Married life just keeps getting better and better. Josh, you rock my socks off. I can't believe how lucky I am to have such an amazing man by my side every day! I appreciate how well you take care of me, how well you take care of us. We've had some rough stuff to deal with over the years, and problems that may have seemed like huge mountains, were itty bitty pebbles with you next to me. I love the way you love me, the way you make me feel so loved. You're an awesome example of what a husband should be and I am unbelievably blessed that you married me.

Cheers to year five ahead!

Daily Monster

2009-01-03T23:39:00.003-06:00

Found this link at Dooce, thought I'd pass it along. You can check out the Daily Monster website, or look them up at YouTube. I can't imagine having so much creativity as to come up with a new monster every day. Drawn with time lapse and occasionaly animated. Enjoy!

Here's Monster 82 for you:

Ryan Seacrest is a sissy

2009-01-01T09:26:00.003-06:00

2008 is gone. 2009 is here! Hope you all made the transition safely.

After waking from my post-work slumber, showering and preparing for whatever the evening might hold, my husband and I hemmed, hawed, and dawdled over the decision. In the end we decided to keep it simple and headed out for a movie.

Going to the movies on NYE is apparently a very popular choice. I couldn't believe how crowded the theater was. We saw "Yes Man" with Jim Carrey. I'm always a bit worried with comedies that all the good stuff shows up in the previews and the rest of the movie will be lame. Needless concern for this movie. I loved "Yes Man"! Don't worry, I won't spoil it and give the details away. Jim Carrey looked very "real" in this movie. I like the normal person look of his, much like the persona in 23. Rubber faced crazy guy has his place too, but I find him much more relatable in this flick. I delighted in Zooey Deschanel's performace. Doe eyed and smiley, she oozes fun quirkiness. I just can't NOT like this lady. It was a bit odd for me seeing Hyde from "That 70's Show" show up in this movie, looking as though he were still wearing clothes from his old job and sporting a hideous, and I mean absolutely disgusting, mustache. Yuck, yuck and double ewwwww. I've never been a mustache fan, I don't think that will ever change. *shudder*

The movie was great, only one regrettable shudder inducing grossness to turn away from, not bad (or unexpected) for a Jim Carrey flick. Go see it.

After leaving the theater we had 30 minutes before the clock struck 12 and the ball dropped. With a few minutes to spare at home we turned on Dick Clark's New Years Rockin' Eve. I really, really wish we'd skipped it. Ryan Seacrest annoys me to no end. He's smarmy mc-smarmy with a dose of smarmy on the side. Blech. Listening to him complain about the cold (a whopping -2 windchill, what a sissy!), chatting on stage as the communist manifesto "Imagine" plays in the background. GAG. As they ring in the new year, spouting again about "Hope" and "Change." Oh please, I should have just turned it off right then and there, are we not done with the disgusting election propaganda yet? Oh, but it only gets worse. Who do we have pushing the button to drop the ball this year? Bill and Hillary Clinton. Two faces I could never see again for the rest of my life and be perfectly happy. Yuck. I'm planning better next year. Thankfully the kiss at midnight did a heck of a lot to improve my mood. My husband rocks!

I've run out of time!

2008-12-31T05:58:00.003-06:00

It's New Years Eve and I haven't found anything FABULOUS to do! I was so wrapped up in Christmas, and I must say that this was the most Christmas-y Christmas ever! A Christmas full of family, friends, love and sparkly happy Christmas events.

But now it's New Years and I'm going to miss it. There's no time to plan. I'm going to need to sleep after work, most restaurants etc won't open until after I go to bed so I can't call for reservations, or even to find out if anything special is going on.

I've been browsing the net, searching for suitable events. Minnesota Monthly mentions Fireworks on the Riverfront. I'm too late getting to it though, the link they show for more information expired 12/6/08. Is that timing or what! I am a little familiar with St Anthony Main, but there aren't ton's of restaurants on that side of the river and I don't know how crowded they will be for New Years. I wish I knew what traffic around there is like New Years Eve. It may be nice to go out for dinner, watch the fireworks and head home for the ball-drop. Plenty of time to toast in the new year afterwards, safe at home away from the drunk drivers trying to maneuver on the currently icy roads.

I wish we had appropriate attire so we could land ourselves at this event, "Vic Volare's Fabulous New Year's Eve Gala at the Landmark Center celebrates the New Year with a theme from yesteryear. This upscale extravaganza features a retro-feel, complete with stiff drinks, swing dancing, suits on every guy and swank dresses on all the ladies. Dean Martin and Old Blue Eyes would feel right at home at this black tie affair, enjoying fine accommodations in a festive atmosphere." Oh and hey, the fun doesn't stop at midnight, "The party doesn't end when the balloons drop from the ceiling, couples kiss and the traditional Auld Lang Syne is sung at midnight; it merely begins. Feel free to stay and shake a leg until the clock strikes 12:30." That's right people, they keep going a whole extra *thirty* minutes. I couldn't help laughing when I read that. Unfortunately attending this would involve shopping on my husbands part and minimally a trip to the dry-cleaners for me.

Oh I just should have planned earlier. I love getting fancy dressed up, I just lack the wardrobe to do it. We had an invite to a friend's party, but we only know the hosts, and between Josh and I, I'm afraid we'd be a black-hole of introvertedness among the strangers who all know each other. Ah well, maybe we'll find some other last minute party people who'll have no problem crowding into our little house with mismatched chairs, eating pizza and toasting in the new years.

Happy New Years Everybody!

Sexy, sexy carrots!

2008-12-31T01:08:00.002-06:00

Free USB included! Did I really just see that in a commercial. Are they now so desperate that among the items included in the list of "FREE with purchase" is the item required for the machine to work? Late night cable Kodak printer commercial "call now for FREE shipping, free ink cartridge, free photo paper package and FREE USB cable!" What a deal huh!

I wonder what it's like working at an ad agency. I wonder how they come up with the ideas. I'm currently impressed with the new Bally Total Fitness commercial. I searched youtube, doesn't look like anyone's posted it yet so I'll give you all the run down.

Cute chubby chick goes to the window and looks out upon a man in a giant hamburger suit holding a boombox over his head ala Jon Cussak in "Say Anything." She shouts out the window, "You're just no good for me!"
Cut to cute chubby chick working out in her cute work out clothes, smiling, happy, content.
Cut to CCC in her living room as a man in a very phalic carrot costume steps up behind her, wraps his arms around her and they begin to cuddle! Seriously, a grown man in a full length carrot costume.
Bally Fitness! Sign me up!

My coffee would taste so much better...

2008-12-27T06:15:00.001-06:00

if I could make them look like this.

Christmas sweets

2008-12-24T22:47:00.003-06:00

Merry Christmas everybody!

Tis the season to gain 2 pounds. To that effort allow me to include two of the treats from our household. I'm not much for baking cookies and tons of desserts, but the following recipe is just too easy and makes a great candy to bring to parties or work to share.

Easy-Peasy Peanut-butter Sweets (I have no idea the real name)
Ingredients:
1 pound Almond Bark (white chocolate)
1 cup each of the following: Creamy Peanut Butter, Rice Crispies, Peanuts, Mini-Marshmallows, Peanut Butter Capt Crunch.

Those are the standard ingredients, but I've also mixed in other stuff like pretzel sticks or dark chocolate chunks.

Melt the almond bark in a large bowl (microwave is easy). Stir in the peanut butter until well mixed. Last fold in everything else.

If you're ambitious you can drop spoonfuls of the mixture to make little clusters. If you're like me you can pour the mixture into a 9x13 pan (I line mine with parchment). Allow to cool to room temperature or toss in the fridge for 45 minutes.

Once cool remove from pan and chop into 1/2 inch to 1 inch chunks, whatever appeals to you. I think they're pretty rich so aim for smaller pieces.

Stuffed French Toast I'll be making this for breakfast in the morning.

Ingredients:
Use whatever french toast batter recipe you like. The trick here is not in the proper egg/milk/vanilla/cinnamon combo, it's in the bread.
Texas Toast bread loaf (not the pre buttered/garlic stuff from the freezer section, the actual loaf of big fat bread slices), Whipped Cream Cheese, Canned Pie Filling of your choice (Apple, Peach, Cherry, etc).

Using a knife slice into the bread to make a pocket. If you mess up and make a little hole it's not too big a deal, but try and keep the slice opening to just the one side of the bread.
Spread the cream cheese inside the bread to line the pocket (this is why using whipped comes in handy. Easier to spread. I lack the patience or the foresight to bring regular cream cheese out early to warm up).
Spoon pie filling into the pocket and squeeze opening shut. Don't over fill the pocket or you won't be able to brown the edges of the bread easily.

Continue as normal for french toast. You know the deal, dip the bread into egg mixture, letting it soak in, and fry em up on the griddle.

And now I'm off to watch more "Christmas Story." TBS is running it non-stop!

Christmas totally rocks!

Have I mentioned lately...

2008-08-29T09:21:00.000-05:00

Have I mentioned lately how much I love my job!

I ran my butt off last night. I completed my work just in time to get out on schedule. It was unbelievably, satisfyingly challenging! I love taking care of people. I like seeing them get better. I feel so appreciated where I work. I actually believe that what I am doing is making a difference in the lives of my patients.

I'm learning so much every night. I'm seeing new things, new illnesses, new treatments, every night!

I just can't describe how personally fulfilling this job is for me. I know eventually I'll settle into a groove and the job will likely lose a bit of its' shine, but for now I'm just going to bask in the glow of a job well done.

There's nothing quite like

2008-08-25T17:13:00.004-05:00

There's nothing quite like being attacked by a raptor while shopping for furniture. RAWWRRRR!!!!

It amuses me to no end when I drive down highway 10 and pass "Plants and Things" and "Furniture and Things" and see this raptor. He and a triceratops friend watch traffic at the plant store. At the furniture store he hides under the building's awning along with a giant bronze ram.

Who buys these things? I couldn't believe they had any to display outside, but when we went into the store and I saw him amongst the barstools I just about lost it in a fit of giggles.

There's nothing quite like

2008-07-24T08:26:00.002-05:00

There's nothing quite like finding the Ghostbusters car driving down your streets!

Josh and I were on our way to a movie when we spotted this car waiting at a stop light. You can't tell from this photo, but the license plate is even ECTO-01. I grabbed my phone and snapped this quick shot before the light turned green again. Browsing the net this morning I discovered they have a Myspace page.

I love random surprises like that!

Bad bad bad

2008-07-10T18:51:00.003-05:00

*moaning...*

Do you know what happens when you follow a vegan diet for 10 days and then decide that because you've had a rough day you should put crap in your mouth?

Trust me, you don't want to know.

Results weren't immediate. Results didn't show up for 14 hours. Naturally I determined it must be something else, surely it wasn't the saturated fat filled french fries, seasoned sour cream, or whipped cream I'd indulged in the night before. No, the whip cream wasn't on the french fries, ewww. Whip cream was part of dessert.

So, following another drive home in hideous traffic, feeling grouchy, and moody...magnified by the bad bad bad thing I had done to my body...I decided to turn to my old friend...SUGAR.

Know what happens when you've been following a *healthy* vegan diet for 10 days, in which you've indulged in almost zero grams of refined sugars? Then you figure, well what's a bit more dairy too. One snickerdoodle cheesecake cup and one white chocolate macadamia cookie later you turn into a massively sick, moody, monster. It's like PMS and the flu rolled up into one. Oh my goodness the rollercoaster.

My poor husband, one moment I'm scowling trying to keep down the pissy demons because I *know* that what I'm ticked off about would register a mere slight annoyance and not an all out hissy fit. (I must admit I'm quite proud of myself for calming down and not throwing said hissy fit.) The next moment I'm in tears because I just feel so damned awful, stomach rolling, emotions crashing.

I don't want to eat anything ever again. I know that will change once I feel better. Today has just given me extra incentive to go back to a vegan diet. I couldn't *get* not eating meat prior to looking into the flexitarian diet. Before giving up dairy too it wasn't any big deal to occasionally eat meat either. Now just looking at cheese kills my appetite.

I can't believe my body has so thoroughly turned against me. Probably payback for all the horrible things I've done to it in the past.

Ugh...

Time for me to start listening to the name of my blog.

I May Never Drink Coffee Again!

2008-07-06T07:57:00.004-05:00

If only my body would adjust to working night shifts by gracing me with a brand new circadian rhythm! Working nights I *should* simply go to bed every day at 8am and sleep until 4pm. When I get in the groove with multiple nights of work in a row this is about when I sleep if I sleep well.

Unfortunately I simply can't maintain that when I have nights off of work. For instance, I worked Thursday and Saturday this week, but had Friday off. So, on Friday I slept until 4pm, but lacking the necessity of work, I crashed back to bed at 4am. Naturally I was only able to sleep for nine hours straight (yeah that's right NINE) and woke at the glorious hour of 1pm. Are you following?

So yesterday I woke up at 1pm. I wasn't too concerned, I still had time to nap before work. My planning however was foiled by a workout, dinner with Josh and watching a TiVo'd episode of "Wipeout." "Wipeout" cracks me up!

Driving into work I'm trying to decide what to do. I know I won't be able to stay alert all night. I picture myself getting groggy as I have in the past, bouncing around the nursery trying to stay awake, lying on the floor kicking my legs in the air, running up and down the stairs, all the goofy things I usually do to keep from crashing while on the job. I start to contemplate caffeine...

A couple of weeks ago I purchased a new diet book (more on that later) which, among other things, advocated the rejection of all caffeine. I hadn't had caffeine all week. In the past two weeks I'd had one pop and it left me unable to sleep. I was hesitant to drink coffee once again, however the idea of that icky nodding off at work feeling was equally, if not more so, unappealing.

I stopped at Caribou Coffee on the way into work, they were closed. So next stop, the gas station near my patients home. I was still uncertain about the coffee, but as I scanned the creamers and noted they didn't have any flavors I like, and that the coffee was going to not only make me sick, but taste bad too I rejected the coffee altogether, determined to fight the groggies on my own. As I headed to the exit I saw a familiar display. Tiny little black and orange bottles offering 5 Hour Energy.

I approached the display with a bit of fear in my heart. What would this itty bitty bottle do to me if I drank it? "It'll be my insurance policy," I thought as I made my purchase and secretively tucked the tiny elixir into my purse.

Around 1am, while everyone was sleeping, I pulled the tiny bottle out and began to read the bottle. I knew from a co-worker that the bottle was full of B vitamins. I knew from the commercial that this drink was supposed to give me 5 hours of energy without the jitteriness (which I didn't for one second believe) and without the typical caffeine crash (which I also didn't believe). Reading the label I discovered that this drink contained the caffeine equivalent of 1 cup of premium roast coffee. Uh oh, this has caffeine. Do I really want to go back to caffeine? Do I dare? What will this taste like? I bet it tastes nasty. Do I dare try this at work?

At 2am, sitting in the dimly lit nursery, awake now for 13 hours, with another 5 hours of work ahead and a 40 minute drive home I again picked up the bottle. 5 hours of energy would get me through the shift. If I take this magic potion any later I may not be able to sleep when I get home. It's now or never.

A yawn escaped my lips. Yes, yes I must try this new thing.

I peeled open the bottle revealing a much less scary white bottle with a red cap. I unscrewed the cap and lifted the bottle to my nose. The bottle said "lemon lime flavor." It smelled odd, yet vaguely familiar at the same time. Lifting the bottle to my lips, feeling much like Alice in Wonderland, I attempted to take it in one gulp.

EEewwwww!!!!

Itty bitty bottles with itty bitty mouths to them can not be sucked down in one shot, I had to pour it out into my mouth taking several gulps to get it down. The flavor was startling, not as bad as I expected, but not good either. Licking the last drop from my lips I set down the bottle and waited to see what would happen. Would I get the "niacin flush" the bottle warned of? How fast would this potion work?

*YOWZA*

It wasn't instantaneous, but it was fast. And it lasted the rest of the night and then some! I felt alert, and energetic. Coffee usually made me feel not-tired for awhile. This, this wonderful drink not only woke up my brain, but my body too. I didn't feel like yawning, what's more I had enough energy and mental clarity to *finally* write that entrance essay for Bethel University that's been haunting me for months. Imagine what I could have done if I were at home, all the cleaning, all the anti-cluttering I could have done. I started planning future blogs to write, and ways to reorganize my house!

Not only was I energized, I was *HAPPY*! Like bouncing off the walls gleeful. B vitamins are supposed to be good for your mood, and believe me mine was elevated! I felt great.

I can't believe this stuff is legal.

Normally when I drive home from work on a rough staying awake day I'm ready to nod off at the wheel. I've even pulled over to take a nap a few times I'm so tired driving home. Not today though. I've been up now for 19 hours and I'm just now starting to feel ready for bed.

We'll find out soon if sleep is in my future...

I Got the Interview!

2008-05-09T09:20:00.001-05:00

Just got the call from Allina today! I'll be interviewing with the Nurse Manager at Mercy on the Family Care Unit next Tuesday! Woot!!!!

I was getting so impatient and thought for certain I'd botched up the phone interview. Guess not! I'll have to make sure my interview outfit gets cleaned and pressed this weekend, oh and make up questions to ask the manager, and make extra copies of my resume to bring with me.

Wheeee!

Searching

2008-05-01T14:30:00.001-05:00

I LOVE my job. I love the work I do, and taking care of my patients. Unfortunately I do not love having my shifts cancelled and losing a days wages, especially when it happens several days in a row. I also do not love having to work 48 hours in week before overtime kicks in, or not receiving my months schedule until less than a week before the month starts.

It's become clear to me that it's time to get into a hospital. My long term goals involve becoming a midwife, at some point I'm going to have to get into a labor and delivery position to do that. To get into labor and delivery I'll need hospital experience.

The benefits of working at a hospital are considerably better than my current position. They hand out overtime like it's candy, bonuses and shift differentials like mad. I'm really praying that a position at Mercy will open up for me, it's soooo close to home. Even if I have to go as far as St. Paul it will still reduce my normal commute by at least 10 miles.

I'm thrilled about the possibility of a new atmosphere, and more experience. I love learning new things, and I've begun to fear that I'm about to forget everything I've learned in nursing school for lack of practice.

To that end I've applied at Allina and at Regions Hospitals. This time I applied for almost everything open part time at Mercy, Family Care Unit, ER, Med-Surg, and yes even Psych. I had applied to the Family Care Unit before and hadn't heard anything. This time I got up the courage to email the nurse manager of the floor directly. Guess what!?!?! I received an email back right away! Also, having sent in my applications two days ago, and previously receiving zero communications from their HR department in the past, imagine my surprise to have their HR department CALL me! Yes, actual human contact from Allina HR. I was bouncing off the wall I was so excited. Now, I don't know if the Family Care Unit nurse manager contacted HR to have them get the ball rolling, or if for some reason I suddenly look appealing, but I got a PHONE CALL!!! They asked me for a phone interview, which I agreed to right away I was so excited. Unfortunately I was completely unprepared for the standard, "what are your greatest strengths/weaknesses?" type of questions. For flying by the seat of my pants I think I did pretty well. The recruiter said she was going to speak with the other nurse recruiter in the office and get back to me tomorrow! Tomorrow! Can you believe it? I can't believe it!

I do love the work I'm doing right now, but I am also super excited about the possibilities opening up before me!

I almost can't wait to see what will happen tomorrow!

21 Days of Sex

2008-04-28T19:24:00.002-05:00

Yeah, that got your attention huh?

"21 Days of Sex" is the new series Pastor Eric Dykstra is preaching at The Crossing Church.

Starting with "Bringing Sexy Back." Eric discusses how our culture has ruined sex, how the church has ruined sex, and yes, what God's ultimate design is for the hottest sex ever.

That's right, within the context of marriage, God is pro-sex, pro-oral, pro-strip tease, pro-getting creative in the bedroom! As such, Eric has challenged the married couples to have sex every day for the next 21 days. Why 21? Because it takes 21 days to establish a habit! Eric argues that if you are married and not having sex you are essentially just roommates and roommates get on each others nerves. Yes, sex is the glue that binds a couple together.

Is this the best church ever or what? And no, I'm not putting other churches down here, I'm just particularly thrilled about my church...which, I think is the way it should be. You should be thrilled with the church you choose to attend.

In case the video link above doesn't work, and you are interested just head to: www.crossing-church.com

After entering the site choose "Media" from the top banner to choose either video or audio files. Looks like they also have the Week 2 audio up already for, "What Happens in Vegas, Doesn't Stay in Vegas."

There's nothing quite like

2008-03-08T08:05:00.001-06:00

There's nothing quite like... being tailgated by a guy with a busted front bumper.

Seriously dude, didn't you learn the first time?

On a Lighter Note

2008-03-06T16:53:00.005-06:00

Well I promised to write more about my fun Sunday, so here goes.

Saturday night I woke up at 5pm for a 12 hour night shift. After a delightful night of watching a baby sleep Josh and I went out to Panera for coffee. I love being happy, comfortable and married. As we sat across from each other, him reading the paper, and me playing sudoku, I reveled in the contentment of a good life, warm coffee, and creamy cream cheese.

Earlier in the week I received my email from Showplace with the 5 Buck Club listing. Juno and Spiderwick were showing. I joked with Josh about doing another double feature, as we did last President's Day. This Sunday Josh decided we should go for it. He was a bit more awake than I, and up for the driving etc.

After coffee, we relaxed at home in front of our computers to kill a bit of time. Then it was off to the theater. Juno at 11:15am, didn't need our 5 Buck cards since it was a matinee, oh well. I was getting into that giggly, "I've been awake tooooo long" stage, informing the ticket seller that we'd just use them for the next feature, "YAY Double Feature Day!" If there were springs in my shoes you would have really seen me bounce.

Next up, Popcorn! Somehow they always talk us into a medium bucket, when a small will do. I don't quite understand how a medium is less expensive than a small, something about combo's or something. Seems like an odd way to run business to me, but oh well. We debated whether I should get a bottle of water, or purchase a pop and have them fill it with tap water. I could not make this decision on my lack of sleep for the life of me. Wise Josh got the pop, which came with free refills, so I'd be set for the next feature as well. Yay!

Juno was fantastic! What a delightful, funny, emotional, quote filled, happy happy, make you cry, wonder of a movie. I highly recommend this show, go see it.

Bouncing out of Juno to check the next movie time we discovered an hour wait between shows. No problem. Josh had a few bucks in cash, off to the arcade for us. I contented myself with watching, knowing full well that as bad as I am at video games when alert, when sleepy there's just no hope. Josh killed a few zombies, drove a semi, then talked me into playing Dance Dance Revolution. I've never played DDR before, Josh totally kicked my butt. I didn't "fail" however, and the game allowed me to continue until the end. I laughed myself silly trying to keep up with jumping on the arrows to the timing of the music. I was equally amused that my shy, quiet husband, would get up on the platform to try the game, even if the arcade was empty when we started. Married for 3 years, together for 5, and the boy continues to surprise me.

Spiderwick has been out in the theaters for awhile now, hence being added to the cheap list. Despite that, the place was packed with kidlets. Arriving early we got decent seats. What an adventure! Goblins, brownies, fairies, battle of good versus evil, fantastic characters, oh the endless joys! I was only confused by a few details. For instance, Freddie Highmore, acts as twins. Now why, when you've got all that other fancy schmancy CGI to do, would you go through the trouble of doubling up an actor? Being twins didn't really add anything to the show. I myself would have taken the easy route and just hired to little boys instead of one, but that's just me. Also, Freddie H is very, very English. His character however is very American. He did a stellar job with the attempt, I'm sure he spent plenty of time with a linguist teaching him an American accent, however English tones kept popping through and distracting me from the show. I ended up wondering in my sleepy head, "Is that the kid from Willy Wonka, it looks like him. Accent is weird. Does he have a brother? I didn't know he had a brother?" Whispering to Josh, "Is that the kid from Willy Wonka?" "Yeah, shhhh." Thinking, "Is that REALLY the kid from Willy Wonka? The kid playing his brother sure looks like him, same dimples, I'm going to have to IMDB this when I get home." These minor details didn't keep me from squealing with delight (or in some cases fright) throughout the movie, and leaving the theater as joyful as I did following Juno.

Home a little after 4pm, winding down, checking email and IMDB before bed. To bed at 5pm, 24 hours since waking up. I might add, whoever said, "you can't catch up on sleep," never woke following a 17 hour sleep feeling awake and fully rested. MMmmmm. Now if only I could sleep now, when work awaits in a few hours. Oi.

Ignorance is Bliss

2008-03-06T16:47:00.002-06:00

Warning, pro-life rant ahead.

I stopped at the grocery store on my way home this morning to pick up a few things. Last on my list was a box of Total cereal. Now that Josh and I are flexitarians, I wanted the added vitamins this cereal has. On a bright pink box next to my cereal was a Pink Total. In bright, swooping print across the top, "GE donates $2 million a year to Susan G. Komen for the Cure."

GARRR! All I want is to buy a cereal without having to worry about my pennies going to fund abortion! I haven't been this annoyed since we got a flyer from AFSCME (Josh's mandatory union affiliation) with Hillary Clinton's face all over it. Nothing like being forced to fund her campaign *eye roll.* At least I can choose which cereal to buy.

Normally I'm only slightly aware of products funding abortions in October, when everyone is hyped up about "Thinking Pink." Now in addition to essentially boycotting factory farm meat products, because I value animal life, GE is on my list of "do not buy" because I happen to value human life.

I will not value saving adult lives over the unborn. Yes, breast cancer research is a good thing. However Susan G. Komen gives nearly a million dollars a year to Planned Parenthood.

Want to hear the really ironic thing? There is a very strong link between abortion and breast cancer. Yes, you will find studies saying that there is no link, but there are many, many that show that abortions increase a woman's risk for breast cancer. Now I don't know about SGK, but if it were me, I wouldn't take a chance. So, what else can we conclude but that SGK, funds abortions to increase revenues? The more people with breast cancer the more people they'll have out "walking for a cure" and raising them cash.

I'm wishing I could find the page I had with non-abortion funding cancer research centers, but it seems the internet ate it.

Breast cancer is scary. We should be doing whatever we can to eradicate it. I just can't morally justify supporting their research with my money, knowing the funds go to kill babies. I just can't do it.

If you're looking for more info just google "Susan Komen abortion."

It's been a good day.

2008-03-02T16:30:00.001-06:00

Granted, I've been up for 23.5 hours now, but it was so worth it! Double feature date day. Elaboration to follow when I'm more coherent.

Best movie line ever: "In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."

Going Flexi

2008-02-22T09:41:00.003-06:00

Josh and I are giving it a shot at becoming flexitarians. According to MayoClinic.com this is an actual category. Flexitarians are vegetarians who primarily follow a vegetarian diet but occasionally eat small amounts of meat.

Josh has wanted to go veg for sometime now, but I haven't been on board and it's trickier following two different meal plans in the same house. Especially when I do most of the cooking and food shopping.

So what's the motivation? The terrible, icky, yucky, no good, very bad way they treat the animals. I've always known that it wasn't good. Then Josh had me watch some PETA videos. *shudder* Still, I wasn't moved. I considered it a necessary evil. Plus my macro economics teachers philosophy cleared it in my mind that one family purchasing meat or not wouldn't even blip on the financial records of the nasty meat men. Greg Boyd however, points out that "This argument is simply a poor, morally vacuous argument."

Coming to today though, Greg Boyd's recent blogs regarding why he became a vegetarian have opened my eyes to a few new insights. Reasons which bring a strong sense of Christianity into the mix. He is clear to note that Christians CAN eat meat, but "It concerns the fact that we're called to reflect God's love and mercy by how we exercise dominion over the animal kingdom (Gen. 1:26-28)" For the full story from Greg take a peek here. Click newer post at the bottom to continue with his blog on going veggie.

So why flexi? Well here's the thing, neither Josh nor I have fanatical beliefs over this change. We don't want to put others out should we go to a friend's for dinner. We don't want others to go through any discomfort trying to meet our new dietary restrictions. Also, I don't think I can entirely give up sushi, though further research into nasty fishy conditions may soon change my mind on that one too. If we do ever get more wrapped up in going veg, we'll just make certain we're responsible for bringing the food, or at the very least bringing over the free-range chicken meat to go in the meal.

I look forward to the health benefits as well. Going veg, means a decrease in saturated fat intake, as well as a tendency to lower overall caloric intake. We're being smart about it, I am a nurse after all! I'm researching the possible nutritional deficits we'll run into, B-12, and protein for instance. Because our main theory for the switch is the animal cruelty, and because I'm not overly fond of beans, we'll be seeking out humane sources of dairy and egg products. I'm going to chat up the food co-op for more info. Buy only eggs from free-range chickens, and find dairy products from cows that are allowed to see the sun. We realize it will cost more, but we think it's worth it.

I'm already discovering some exciting new health info. For instance, peanut butter is HEALTHY! According to the research I've done the amount of hydrogenated oil in non "all natural" peanut butter is so miniscule as to not rate a trans-fat nutrition label. Also, while being high in fat, it's high in the good fats, mono-unsaturated fats. Say hello to my new favorite staple! Studies also show that peanut butter has greater appetite suppressant qualities than some other snacks. Then again, I always knew protein fills better, longer than carbs.

So that's the plan, that's the new big change in our life. I really enjoy reading Greg's blog and learning more about living the Kingdom. It keeps very close to the lessons we're learning in church right now as well. I'm learning just how radical Jesus was in his time, and want to follow in his foot-steps. I fear stating that here somewhat because I know Christians frequently are called hypocrites for not being perfect. I used to have a bumper sticker, "Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven." I am certainly not perfect, but I'm seeking to follow as close as I can, and frequently find myself seeking forgiveness as I live this life. As such, you my friends, if you should see me fall, please help me out and let me know. If I'm being critical, or judgmental, if unkind words leave my mouth, or should my actions reflect poorly, feel free to call me on it. I won't argue back, and will likely thank you for helping me as well.

Now I'm off to seek out a book I heard should further my dedication to being nice to the critters, "The Makers Diet."

Happy Weekend to all!

There's nothing quite like

2008-01-20T17:12:00.000-06:00

Instantaneous booger freezing cold.

Looking forward to year number four.

2008-01-06T20:12:00.000-06:00

Josh and I made it to our three year wedding anniversary last Monday 01-07-08. I intended to write a very clever blog over the weekend expressing just how happy I am to be married to this wonderful specimen of the male species. Unfortunatly, everything I wrote just looked wrong somehow (and having reached the end still isn't quite right). Instead I started this list of everything I love about my partner in crime, my hero, my husband.

1. Every single time I ask, "Still love me?" you grin and say, "Of course."

2. When I say maybe it was karma that killed the mean crow in the road, without blinking you say, "It could have been a truck." And it still cracks me up to this day.

3. For holding me every time I cry.

4. For asking, when I'm crying because my neck hurts, "Is this really just physical pain or is there something else going on."

5. For hovering worriedly when you can't make the pain go away and getting me everything I need to make it better.

6. For attending all my family holiday stuff without once complaining (even if ya did drag your feet a bit), and not freaking out when I couldn't make it to your families because of work.

7. For working your butt off at a job you didn't care for all those years so that I could follow my dream of getting my nursing license.

8. For going back to school yourself, for following your dreams.

9. For helping me get purple gear for my WoW characters.

10. Because you'll go to church with me, when you don't like it, so that I won't be alone, and for admitting you do it for brownie points. You so get brownie points for that.

11. For the Hollywood kisses that make me feel fantabumazing.

12. For indulging my goofiness and building a gingerbread house from the kit I picked up at the grocery store.

13. For taking out the trash, not only when I ask because I've just emptied the entire fridge, but all by yourself when you notice it's full. Am I a lucky wife or what?

14. For being the studly handyman who fixes stopped up drains and replaces entire bathroom faucets...so it's a smidge crooked, at least it doesn't leak anymore!

15. For going through fantastic phases of super smooth kissable face, and sexy rugged unshavedness.

16. For showing mercy when we tickle fight.

17. For cheering me on every time I try to lose weight.

18. For learning to enjoy renfairs with me.
19. For your razor wit.

20. For the terrible, terrible puns.

21. For just plain loving me no matter what.

22. For teaching me patience.

23. For teaching me diplomacy.

24. For snuggling and watching movies when you'd rather be playing video games.

25. For honest conflict resolution.

26. For being so chatty when you've had a bit to drink.

27. For buying me flowers that aren't roses.

28. For letting me pick mattresses that I found comfy. Even if it didn't matter so much to you because you can sleep on a pile of rocks comfortably.

29. For sticking it out through the rough patches.

30. For walking through the yard with me and pretending to learn the plant names.

31. For appreciating the changes I've made to the garden.

32. For actually enjoying mowing the lawn. I hate mowing.

33. For being proud of me.

34. For pretending you'd hate to have kids, but still letting me know you'll be a great dad when the time is right.

35. to forever- all those other things that just can't be put into words.

Josh, focusing on why I love you is an exercise I should do more often. I love you, and I appreciate everything you do for me, and for us. You make me so happy. Happy Anniversary Love.

Bear Fly Up

2008-01-06T20:06:00.000-06:00

While browsing the internet I came across a blog where the author mentioned misunderstood lyrics. For some reason I was instantly reminded of my own childhood lyric changes. The song: Elvira, as played on an honest to goodness record player. Dancing around in my PJ's singing "Bear fly up oom poppa oom poppa mow mow...My heaaaart's on fire, bear fly up."

There's nothing quite like

2008-01-04T17:52:00.000-06:00

Sleeping for 20 hours straight.

Rock Star Red

2007-12-29T19:57:00.000-06:00

I've been up for over 24 hours now. Apologies in advance for incoherency.

My fantastic friend Sharon was able to see me today after I had finished working a 12 hour shift to update my dull brown locks.

I am LOVING the wild new red highlights. Winter doldrums had settled in here. Work, sleep, work, sleep. And the reflection in the mirror was looking just as dull, brown, shaggy, brown, shaggy. Plus the...sniffle...GRAY HAIRS! Egads the GRAY HAIRS! I blame my father, these genes are so from him. *hi Dad*

So rather than growing out silver temples I've gone Rock Star Red! Inspired by Joss Stones lovely pink/red tresses. Unfortunately my dark hair doesn't like going straight to the color required. So I have very awesome, fun, bright red locks which will in a few months be altered to hot magenta fabulousness.

I've attempted taking photos all by myself of these exciting changes and I just lack the skills. Maybe I can get my sweetie to help show them off. Until then, just wait until you see this wild new do in person!

My Super-Hero Panties

2007-11-30T14:23:00.000-06:00

Doing a bit of shopping at Kohl's I decided it was time for some new undergarments. I hate shopping for such things, but after the dryer monster began chomping the fabric off the elastic of mine I figured it was time to attempt a new purchase.

So cruising through the multiple isles of thongs, bikinis, granny-panties, low-rise, boy shorts, and tiny cute scraps of fabric with neat pictures on them that would never manage to cover my large backside, I stumbled upon several bins of bright colored fabric. As I had done with other non-disagreeable looking panties I dropped a pair into my basket without really looking at them.

Now this new pair has become *cue music* dun dun dun...my Super-Hero Panties.

Yes, whenever I put on my Super-Hero Panties I feel like I can rule the world. They are fabulously soft black cotton with red cotton trim around the holes and a red star embroidered on the left hip. I look forward to wearing my Super-Hero Panties. I wash them every time I do laundry whether I'm doing a load of socks and panties or not. I get excited pulling them out of the dryer. "Yay! I get to wear my Super-Hero Panties today," I proclaim as I dance about the office and my husband looks at me like I'm crazy. I'm familiar with that look, I get it with surprising frequency.

I'll go to work wearing my Super-Hero Panties and I'm invincible to all the pissy-vibes around me. If I were a super hero for real I think that's what I would try to rid the world of. I would go about finding people scowling at cashiers and the service people of the world. Instead of bashing them over the head I'd poke them in the stomach with a magic giggle inducing glove. The laughter would be contagious and everyone in the building would be filled with a silly contentment and go about with happy-vibes towards everyone else instead of dumping their negativity on others who, lacking their own Super-Hero Panty protection would harbor those pissy-vibes, allow them to grow and thrive and subsequently ooze pissy-vibes on the next unsuspecting victim.

Yes, I like my Super-Hero Panties. They make me feel special. When I'm groggy and less than excited about going to work and I discover that they are clean and ready to be worn it really brightens my day. Somedays, if I wake up all happy and perky, I will save my Super-Hero Panties for another day. Back-up for when I sense the day may lead to an encounter with my nemesis PissyVibe Ooze.

And now, striking a pose in my Super-Hero Panties, I'm off to rescue discontented shop workers, cold bell-ringers, and anyone else I may see having a generally lousy looking day! *whoosh*

Where did that come from?

2007-11-24T07:56:00.000-06:00

In an attempt to appease the sock-eating monster in my dryer I gave him a whole ton of socks to choose from and a few pairs of boxers and panties too, just in case his tastes are changing. In a remarkable show of gratitude he spit back $5, I assume so I could go replace all the socks of mine he's eaten. Yes the money would be for my socks. For whatever reason he likes mine far more than Josh's, and indeed I think he maybe trades my socks to his needy friends in exchange for socks similar to Josh's. I know this must be happening because I am forever running out of my cute little socks and now can no longer seem to stuff all of the giant boy socks in the designated boy-sock drawer.

Honestly though, I am none too surprised when a bill shows up in a load of jeans despite my careful pocket checks. Seriously though, $5 in a load of socks and undies??? How weird is that?

Microsoft Stinks

2007-11-19T11:51:00.000-06:00

If anyone out there is attempting to send me an email, just don't even bother.
Hotmail has recently transformed themselves into the completely un-useable "Hotmail Windows Live." Anyone operating an Apple computer, such as myself, has been cut off from their services.
I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. I wanted to believe that this was not just evidence of the rivalry between Microsoft and Apple. I mean Apple is only sucking up about 5% of computer buyers out there, and Microsoft is hardly suffering for profits. Now I'm taking the stance that Microsoft is not only a horrible inept company and user interface to begin with, but that they want everyone who's given up on their hardware to suffer the loss of their email should they be using them.
I was being patient. I surfed the net and found a work around so that I could get my email. That same work around no longer worked on the next day.
I searched some more. Found another way to get into my email. And sure enough, it too doesn't work. I'm getting tired of lack of access and now think it'll be worth the effort just to cancel my email and switch to a new account. I really didn't want to do that. I'll have to copy and paste all my old contact info, send out emails to everyone so they know I've moved. Ugh.
Microsoft just plain stinks.

Still Not Done.

2007-11-07T07:27:00.001-06:00

I had three days off and planned to accomplish so very, very much...and I ended up accomplishing so very, very little.
Two major projects are looming. First I need to apply for the bachelors in nursing program. I already missed the deadline for MN State University Moorhead to begin this coming spring. Turned out to be a better thing than I thought because now that I've had the opportunity to look at a few other schools I really think Bethel University is the way to go. I think they will offer a better education; I like the idea of integrating my Christian faith into my nursing; I believe the degree may hold a bit more prestige to help me obtain one of 10 spots I'll be competing for when masters degree time comes around; the course only meets one night a week; and tuition is actually more reasonable than I had anticipated; oh yeah, they also offer a minor in German which I really want to do as well.
So Bethel has a Novemeber 15th deadline to begin in the spring, but the application looks terribly ominous. Resumes, letters of reference, essays, not to mention contacting all 3, no wait 4 colleges I've been to and having transcripts transfered over. If I can complete this task in time I may discover that they are willing to overlook the pre-requisite of being employed as a nurse for a year prior to beginning the degree. On the other hand I think that's quite unlikely, and procrastinator that I am I've put it off.

Second major project: Repainting the Kitchen! It was just so much fun the first time around I figured I'd do it again! Earlier this year we tore down and rebuilt the wall between the kitchen and the living room. I decided to paint the new wall a nice neutral color and ended up falling in love with the new paint. Also with then new paint on the new wall the old paint on the old walls looks garish. I can't stand it anymore. I must sand the old walls, primer, and paint. I have all the supplies I need. Well most of the supplies, I might be missing a paint brush to do the edging. It's a small kitchen. For some reason though I just haven't been able to bring myself to tackle this monster. I know I will love it once it's done, but for now...Now I just go in the kitchen and imagine it the color I want. Yes, my kitchen is already the warm, soothing, creamy, brown, tanish, dark, light, neutraly color. While I'm at this lovely daydream my counter tops have also been installed and some lovely person has put beautiful, white, ceramic tile on them. Oh it will be so lovely.

Sigh...

But for now completed projects exist only in daydreams. I must do the daily work grind, plug away at earning the dollars for future renovations where other people will do the work for me muahahaha.

Things that make me happy today.

2007-10-27T08:11:00.000-05:00

1. Working 12 hour shifts right now, as I drive into work the sun is setting in all it's pink and purple glory while the full moon floats on the opposite horizon. As I leave work the sun is creeping skyward, while it's pale counterpart has yet to disappear once more.

2. I've been giving myself a new treat after work. Steamers from Dunn Brothers Coffee. Steamers are nothing more than steamed milk with a flavor shot in them. Just the thing to unwind before going to bed. Right now I'm trying a new flavor every day. So far Vanilla is my favorite, but I haven't gotten to any of the fruit ones yet. Think I'll try raspberry next week.

3. Cruising down a quiet country road a muscle car flew past me going the opposite direction with a fantastic rumbling noise. I had an instantaneous day dream that I was behind the wheel of something considerably more formidable than my Saturn defying all speed limits!

4. No body was behind me as I passed the llama farm today so I was able to creep down to a crawl and watch the dopey critters in all their shaggy, multi-coloredness. Llama, llama, llama, llama, llama!

5. And now I'm home with two days off ahead of me.

Yes, life is good. :D

I Love My Job

2007-10-23T10:54:00.001-05:00

And I'm not even being sarcastic. Being a nurse is turning out to be even more wonderful than I had ever hoped.
I've been working a little too much lately, and lack of personal time has made me a bit cranky (just ask the hubby). The goal now is trying to find a balance between work and play. I used to hear about people who'd work 50-60 hours a week and think, "are they bonkers??? Why would you do that, the money can't be worth it." And what have I been doing lately? Working 48-60 hours a week. No wonder I'm feeling a little burnt.
It's so nice to finally be able to pay off bills, to finally go on vacation. It makes it harder for me to say, "No I can't help out and pick up a shift tonight, I am going to be sitting on the couch drinking ameretto sours all night." The job is just so easy, glorified baby-sitter at times. I need to stay awake, watch the baby sleep, give meds, change diapers. I do a bit more that requires actual nursing knowledge and skills but so much of the time is spent watching the little cutie-pies sleep. I get paid to spend all night snoodling babies how can you not love that!
Well that's enough rambling for me today. I need to go finish making the house sneaky clean. Sneaky clean = hide all the junk so people walking through won't notice. We're having several people come through to give us estimates on new furnace and A/C. We don't have A/C at all, and at our house inspection when we bought the house, the inspector estimated that the furnace was the second this house has ever seen...our house is over 50 years old. When we turn the heat on it makes an awful racket and stinks the whole house up with gas smell. Eewww....

I’m so tired everything is hillarious.

2007-10-19T10:40:00.000-05:00

So I realized when I got home that I probably hadn't checked iTunes yet for the free single of the week. A new habit I'm developing. If they want to give me a free song who am I to say "no."
The audio clip was a little ridiculous, sounds like the sort of thing I could play over and over again to annoy Josh for fun. :D
So I begin reading the customer comments..."In short I don't go crazy wanting to throw my mac across the room just to get it to turn off, but it's nothing special..." *giggle* I can just see some guy hurling his precious mac computer across the room to stop this tune.
So I look to see what Apple has said about why they were offering it to us for the week. This is the PROMOTIONAL material: "This Hollywood group has been together since way back in 2005." Hang on, was that "way back?" way back in 2005..a whole 2 years, yeah that was long ago. "It's sing-along emo in electro-pop clothing." Now that's something! "It's a track that's refreshingly more aware of lust than angst with enough guitar and Robert Smith-esque vocal hiccups to satisfy the gloomy kids in the corner." I'll be the first to admit I know nothing about emo or electro-pop music. And perhaps it's the only 5 hours of sleep between two 12 hour shifts but that's the silliest darn review I've read ever. Are vocal hiccups something people want?
Oh yeah, the song is "Shake It" by Metro Station. Head on over to iTunes if you want to give it a listen. Now it's time for me to hit the repeat button and leave it running for my sweetie. *giggle*
You all have a happy rainy day out there. Thanks for letting me ramble.

*Edit Add* Wow! Now that I've actually played the song it's my new favorite! I seriously need to go to bed, I think there's something wrong with me.

Diet Blog No More

2007-10-19T10:34:00.000-05:00

Well the new job has completly destroyed any idea of healthy eating and exercise. I've been working too many 12 hour shifts which, between sleep, work, driving, and bathing (girl has to stay un-stinky) I'm left with only one hour each day to my self. Next month should ease up some and I'll have to work my way back in to healthier eating habits. As I reach those goals I will certainly post about them. For now this is going to turn into more of a chat about whatever else is going on in my life.
Enjoy!

Grandma

2007-08-31T16:07:00.000-05:00

Cookies at Grandma's don't count!

Quickie

2007-08-23T19:17:00.000-05:00

Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I keep thinking I need to get back here. Between being gone all weekend, getting soaked through at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival, and starting a new job, it's been difficult to find time.
The weekend was a blast! Very wet, didn't get to watch many shows, but hubby and I had tons of fun!
The new job is going well too.
It's been odd getting used to sleeping during the day, but not wanting to miss out on my workouts I've decided to sleep from about 10am to 7pm. This gives me enough time when I wake up to do my devotions and have coffee, followed by burning serious calories for an hour! With just enough time left to eat a meal and shower and get to work. By morning lately though I've just been too tired to blog. Things should improve as I get more used to the new schedule.

Oh yeah, and I've lost another 1.5 pounds! YAY ME! Current weight 181. I'm pretty proud of myself for sticking with the diet and exercise while transitioning to a new job. Previously that sort of thing woulda sent me straight to the fast food window on a regular basis.

More entertaining blogs to come in the future I hope.

Not Quite Right

2007-08-15T14:42:00.000-05:00

Well my VERY GOOD weekend turned into a very bad weight loss. I used Friday as my free day, bad food, no exercise, much pleasure! Saturday I slept in and attended one of my fellow nursing grads weddings. The wedding was lovely. I got to meet four more of my fellow grads and catch up on how everyone is doing for the summer. I wasn't super bad with the wedding fare. There was butter on buns. I also ate 2 bites of sugary frosted cake...mmmmm. I had every intention of going home and working out afterwards. EVERY INTENTION!
Little did I know that this lovely 2pm ceremony would be followed by a private after party with the RNs! If they had salad there I would have had salad. Instead, *insert wicked grin here* instead I had a grilled cheese, bacon and tomato sandwich. Hey there was a tomato! That's a vegetable, or a fruit, well it's healthy! That sandwich with big fat slices of white bread, slathered in butter, cheese oozing out all over, thick slabs of bacon. Man my mouth is watering again just thinking about it.
Two days of non-exercise turned into three days of non-exercise.
Today is Wednesday, I checked the scale. I'm up a half pound. That was a really tasty half pound though!
The half pound scare was motivation to get back on track. I did the STEP tape today, heavy breathing, lots of sweating. I sent that half pound scampering away with it's tail between it's legs. RAWR!

Stats Update Day 36

2007-08-08T09:37:00.000-05:00

I copied down the day 36 stats last Wednesday and am posting them a little late. I got busy with other things. It's been a VERY good weekend so far!

I'll be placing total changes in italics now.

Height: 5'6"

Weight: 190.5 -> 182.5 Down 3 more pounds! - 8 pounds

Chest: 37.5" -> 36 I'm really not sure I'm being consistent on this measurment, but since I don't exactly have much fat here I can see this number going up from the pushups I've been doing. Not a half inch more but some. +0.5"

Arms: 15" ...that's 15 each, not total. -> 14.5 each. Finally down a half inch. -0.5"

Waist: 39" -> 34.75 Another 3/4ths inch! -4.25"

Hips: 47.5" -> 45 Another half inch lost! -1.5"

Thigh, Right: 27" -> 25.5, 3/4ths inches down! -1.5"

Thigh, Left: 28" -> 26.5, 1/2 inch down! -1.5"
B/P: 132/91 -> 144/92 this concerns me. Higher ugh.

Ignorance Is No Longer Bliss

2007-08-07T17:01:00.000-05:00

Before church on Sundays my husband and I stop at Panera for breakfast and coffee. Now I knew, just looking in the tasty pastry display, that most everything in there was taboo. Last week I was tempted by the egg soufflés. I mean, how bad could a few eggs be? Eggs are healthy right. Then I contemplated the pastry wrapping, guessed there'd be tons of butter too, and safely turned to a bagle and reduced fat cream cheese.
So today I decided to browse Panera's website and found a nutrition guide. So glad I passed up the egg soufflés. Four Cheese Soufflés: Fat 30g, Saturated Fat 16g! The rest of the soufflé isn't too bad, 470 calories, a little high, but do-able and 8g of sugar.
Then I took a look at the bagels I've been getting. I'd had a nagging suspicion that they might be worse than I thought. French Toast Bagel: 380 calories (not bad), Fat 5g, SatFat 2.5g, Sugars 18g, Carbs 73g! 73? Uh oh. Then I peeked at the reduced fat cream cheese: 12g of fat! 12 is reduced?
I think from now on I'll be eating before we go and will simply have to enjoy my coffee while the hubby has his tasty treat.

No Wonder It Was Dusty

2007-08-07T13:18:00.001-05:00

Yesterday while searching for a set of keys (mine) that have been missing for months, my husband stumbled into my shoebox full of videos. A box I haven't looked at since we moved into our home two years ago. Shining out at me like a ray of sunshine I see my old Reebok Step video! Just as I'd been complaining about doing the same four videos for the past five weeks. I knew right where my step was too. Leaning against the wall inside my bedroom closet, as though I was actually going to use it.
Looking at the video more closely reveals that I have most likely had this STEP since 1994. I am sure I had incredibly good intentions for using the STEP back then. Who knows, maybe if it had done more than sit under a bed I might not find myself in this pudgy state.
Waking up this morning I couldn't wait to pop in the video and spice up my workouts with this new routine. I'd taken step in college so wasn't worried about following the choreography. I did a fantastic job of keeping the feet going in the right order for being away from step so long. The arms were a bit more difficult to keep coordinated.
I was really missing the little scroll at the bottom of my other videos that show you how much time you have left in each section. I don't have a clock in the living room, and hadn't checked to see what time it was when I started.
I don't remember the last time I sweated this much! I was huffing, and puffing, sweat trickling down my back. Gasping for air and telling myself, "It's only a little bit longer, it must be only a little bit longer."
This is not a video for someone who hasn't been working out at all. No wonder it was so dusty. I'm sure the last time I attempted this video I got five minutes into it and said, "No, not going to happen." I am proud to say I kept up with 90% of it, thanks to the training I've been doing the past month. Now though...now I scoff at the videos I've been doing for cardio. You call that a cardio workout? HA! I scoff at you!
There's no way I'm doing that step routine 2 days in a row. No way! Tomorrow is going to be a cake walk compared to today.
I feel fantastic. I feel sweaty and exhausted and as though I just totally kicked my own butt! I am loving working out today!

I Can Touch My Toes

2007-08-06T13:23:00.001-05:00

It's true, I can now touch my toes! I can't even begin to tell you just how excited I am by this new change in my life.
When I started working out I'd get to the cool down sessions. There I'd be, sitting on my purple mat, legs stretched out in front of me. Inhale...raise arms up. Exhale...reach for toes. Sure, more like reach for shins. I'd reach out as far as I could and my hands would just hit the middle of my shins. Slowly, bit by bit I've been reaching further. Last week my fingertips were tracing my shoelaces and I began to get giddy.
Now it's official, during cool down I can reach and hang on to my toes! Just call me Gumby! I so rock.

Restaurant Salads

2007-08-05T22:13:00.000-05:00

A Rant.

Why is it that all these restaurants carry amazing salads with lousy full fat dressings. I would LOVE to go out and have a chicken caesar salad, but my nice healthy choice is ruined by the fact that they insist on using full fat full calorie dressing.
Consider 2 tablespoons of the regular stuff: We're looking at 148 Calories and 16 grams of fat. Seriously? 16 grams of fat?? Yeah, that's healthy. A McDonalds cheeseburger only has 14 grams of fat.
2 tablespoons of low calorie caesar have only: 31 Calories and 1 gram of fat! I can certainly squeeze in one gram of fat in my meal plan.
I swear I'm going to buy a bottle of the low cal version and bring it with me in a cooler whenever I go out just in case we end up going out to eat.
I know it's not cost effective for restaurants to carry low cal versions of every one of their dressings, but most places only have low fat ranch, and possibly a vinagrette. Boring.
Do they not realize that most people ordering a SALAD of all things, rabbit food for the most part, are looking for a healthier food option! It's just too frustrating.

Eating For Life

2007-07-31T23:08:00.000-05:00

This is the new meal plan for me. Details can be found in the link to the right under "The Tools I Use". It's quite simple really. You eat a portion (the size of your fist) of carbs, and a portion (the size of your palm) of protein every 2-3 hours. Also you are supposed to eat vegetables with at least two of the meals. It's so simple and easy to follow. Plus I've found that most of the South Beach products meet those requirements as well. So while I'm now eating all the time, I don't have to cook all the time. And by "all the time" I really mean "ALL THE TIME!" It's amazing how fast 3 hours goes by.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you all the best part. You only follow the plan 6 days a week! So every 7th day I can splurge and eat as much as I want of the worst things for me. My free day I can have all the fast food, ice cream, cake, and yes...even the cookies!

Before you go thinking I'm falling for some gimmick, I've used this meal plan last year and lost 30 pounds. 30 pounds I slowly gained back by eating every day like it was my free day...oops. Time to work those pounds off once more!

Hiding

2007-07-27T23:59:00.000-05:00

The scale is in hiding. While I haven't been so obsessive as to step on the thing multiple times a day, I have made a daily habit of checking on things. Morning ritual: Get up, pee, step on scale, frown. Given the lack of pounds lost the past two weeks I've decided it's best to remove the little devil. I'm going back to a previous menu that was effective for me in the past (more on that later). No cheating for me either. I asked my husband to hide it and sometime during the night it disappeared. So now I'm just going to focus on maintaining the meal plan and sticking with the exercise. Whether I lose another half-pound or not it's still the healthiest thing for me to be doing at this point.

Hip Hop Abs

2007-07-26T12:16:00.000-05:00

Hip Hop Abs - A Quick Review.
HHA is the exercise routine I am currently using. You can check out the website to see some of the moves. The first kit comes with 4 routines used on a regular basis, a 30 minute cardio, 20 minute ab, 40 minute cardio/weight mix, and a 30 minute hips, buns and thighs.
What I love about all the products from the Beach Body company is that they come with a calendar attached showing which workouts to do on which days. This means that for the first 6 weeks there isn't any guesswork for which DVD to put in. It also means that I am far less likely to cheat and choose an easier routine. The other fantastic thing about the Beach Body DVDs is that they run a timer across the bottom. Not only can you visualize how far into your workout you've gone, you can also see exactly how much time is left in the whole routine and how much is left in each segment of the routine.
My favorite things about HHA in particular:
*Shawn T. the instructor is very silly. His high energy and constant motivation really help me too keep pushing it.
*The choreography is easy to keep up with. I've done other routines where I had to watch several times before I could keep up with things.
*I really do get a workout every single day!

Least favorite things about HHA:
*Only two of the songs in all 4 tapes are recognizable to me. The theme music for HHA is repeated in several of the workouts and I find it repetitive. It's difficult to lose myself to grooving it out with the music when it's just not all that exciting.
*There is a lack of instruction regarding proper form. This is something I might not have noticed if I hadn't done other workouts. Shawn does give some instruction, such as the "knee over ankle" during squats, but we're missing things like "don't turn your shoulders during tricep kick backs." I'd also like to see more information regarding the weights he uses. If you buy the expanded kit they send you weighted gloves, one pound each. I didn't buy the big kit and didn't know how much weight to use. Also, during the weight/cardio routine I think one pound is kind-of a wussy amount to be doing once you've begun to build up strength. I personally use 3 pound weights, yes it's a challenge, but I'd rather have a challenge than something too easy.
*I'd like more arm work. Part of the problem is that I'm so busy focusing on my abs that 3 weeks later I'm just now able to keep up with what Shawn is doing with his arms in the cardio routines, even still I feel like my arms could be getting more work. Loosing 3 inches off my abs, and zero off my arms is rather disproportionate.

I plan on sticking with HHA for at least the full 6 weeks and seeing where I am at the end. I am enjoying the fact that the earlier routines are getting easier while the weight/cardio and hips/buns/thighs still kick my butt each and every time.

The Starting Gate

2007-07-25T21:58:00.000-05:00

On Thursday July 5th, 2007 I undertook once again to begin the up-hill battle to lose fat. It was my intention to begin this blog at that time, but the challenge of starting a healthy-meal plan and exercise regimen were more than enough to occupy me. Now that habits have been established I'm moving on to this little blog.

So here are my starting stats:
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 190.5
Chest: 37.5"
Arms: 15" ...that's 15 each, not total. Finding shirts that fit right is a pain!
Waist: 39"
Hips: 47.5"
Thigh, Right: 27"
Thigh, Left: 28"
BP: 132/91

For the past 3 weeks I have been doing Hip Hop Abs. I also recently purchased "YOU on a Diet" by Dr. Oz and Dr. Somebodyelse. The basis of the YOU diet is to avoid sugar (unless it's in the form of fruits), avoid saturated fats, and get more fiber.
Week one I lost an incredible 4 pounds. Weeks 2 and 3 I lost a whole lousy 1 pound total. Needless to say the YOU thing isn't working for me. I'll be reverting to a new eating plan to be outlined for all in the next few days.

So here's where I am now on Day 21 of project skinny-me compared to day one:

Height: 5'6"
Weight: 190.5 -> 185.5
Chest: 37.5" -> 35.75 Not sure on this measurement, sports bra on vs. not on during measurement.
Arms: 15" ...that's 15 each, not total. -> Not a darn change.
Waist: 39" -> 35.5 I am so rockin the ab change!
Hips: 47.5" -> 45.5
Thigh, Right: 27" -> 26.25
Thigh, Left: 28" -> 27

I am so bummed about the lack of poundage loss, but it's been so much easier to zip up my jeans!